I'm ending this log. I don't know whether this is a temporary or permanent end, but for now I cannot continue.
There are a multitude of reasons for this. First and foremost is privacy. Not my own, but others. In the past, this blog has focused on me, and on the interactions of a handful of others, most of whom were mentioned casually and anonymously, had given me permission, or were writing their own journals. Now my life involves too many other people, many of who would prefer not to have parts of their lives made public, others react awkwardly to the idea of being mentioned here, and in general, I feel uncomfortable writing about the people and events presently in my life.
Secondly, I need to focus on my life instead of writing about it. This time could be better spent studying physics, reading about numbers, or building contraptions. It takes an hour or more to write a proper entry, and often multiple attempts to write one I would feel comfortable posting. Having the record of my experiences is nice, but it would be better to increase the range of my experiences than to document them.
Third, there are too many things that I leave out. Catching up to my present life is difficult and usually unfeasible. This is in no way a complete record, and it tells an incomplete story, to say nothing of the events intentionally left out. It feels false to me.
Fourth is not a point against continuing, but a general point that should be made clear. I have no concept of personal privacy; I will tell someone anything about myself, restricting only that which they do not wish to hear and that which is not mine to tell. I know that in today's world, privacy is more of a lie we tell ourselves while hoping that no one else is paying attention. People have often brought up the fact that I might not be hiding enough, but I'm not afraid. Among the scenarios mentioned, having a stalker, meeting someone who had read everything about me, and being prejudged based on my online information are some of the more serious worries. However, the first is mostly unavoidable, and stalking me might take some effort. The second, I've encountered. It's a bit unnerving, but it has no major effects. As for the third, I would hope that people hold their judgment until they begin to know me, and if not, then that is their right.
In closing, I hope you've enjoyed this, and if you want to know how my live is going, you'll just have to find a more direct approach.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
More finals
It's the last few weeks of university before the winter break. It's time for our final exams. I've completed three so far and have two more to go in the next thirty-six hours.
Chemistry was first, and it was by far my worst subject. The exam was difficult for me, although I'm rather sure that I managed more than a pass. Most people considered it too difficult, and some think that the professor was getting back at the class for falling asleep in class, talking, coming in late, and flat out not attending. Either way, I'm hoping I passed, glad it's over, and hoping that some day, I'll understand chemistry.
The next was statics and dynamics. Actually, I probably would have done better to call this course kinematics, but it's over now. I didn't do as well as I was hoping to do on the exam. I just had never gotten the practice I needed with the question types I wasn't used to. It's my fault, and I accept it, knowing that I'm likely to continue using the skills I gained from this course, and thereby, improve on them. Oh, and I most likely passed.
The third, was thermodynamics. This was supposed to be my favourite. It was, but with some minor concessions, like the fact that my alarm was disabled. Or the fact that I woke up at nine o'clock, when it started at eight-thirty, or the seven minutes it took me to dress and run across campus to the examination building. Or when I realized that I didn't have my calculator with me, and it would take too long to go back. To a little surprise, they still let me in, and to my credit, if I'm right, I think I passed that one two, even with a thirty-seven minute penalty and no calculator. I still liked the exam, but that doesn't mean it went easy on me.
Today, I have programming. I aced the two midterms and expect no major difficulty in this one. My heavy logic and mathematical skills give me a nice edge, that, and I payed attention in class and build many of my own programs.
And tomorrow I have calculus, which should go well based on our practice, though I'm a bit disappointed in my calculus marks this term. Honestly, for all my love of mathematics, I thought I could do better, but we'll see how it comes out.
After that I'm free for my last week in residence before the break. That'll be fun.
Chemistry was first, and it was by far my worst subject. The exam was difficult for me, although I'm rather sure that I managed more than a pass. Most people considered it too difficult, and some think that the professor was getting back at the class for falling asleep in class, talking, coming in late, and flat out not attending. Either way, I'm hoping I passed, glad it's over, and hoping that some day, I'll understand chemistry.
The next was statics and dynamics. Actually, I probably would have done better to call this course kinematics, but it's over now. I didn't do as well as I was hoping to do on the exam. I just had never gotten the practice I needed with the question types I wasn't used to. It's my fault, and I accept it, knowing that I'm likely to continue using the skills I gained from this course, and thereby, improve on them. Oh, and I most likely passed.
The third, was thermodynamics. This was supposed to be my favourite. It was, but with some minor concessions, like the fact that my alarm was disabled. Or the fact that I woke up at nine o'clock, when it started at eight-thirty, or the seven minutes it took me to dress and run across campus to the examination building. Or when I realized that I didn't have my calculator with me, and it would take too long to go back. To a little surprise, they still let me in, and to my credit, if I'm right, I think I passed that one two, even with a thirty-seven minute penalty and no calculator. I still liked the exam, but that doesn't mean it went easy on me.
Today, I have programming. I aced the two midterms and expect no major difficulty in this one. My heavy logic and mathematical skills give me a nice edge, that, and I payed attention in class and build many of my own programs.
And tomorrow I have calculus, which should go well based on our practice, though I'm a bit disappointed in my calculus marks this term. Honestly, for all my love of mathematics, I thought I could do better, but we'll see how it comes out.
After that I'm free for my last week in residence before the break. That'll be fun.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Finals
We're into our finals* here, which means everyone is studying, trying to study, failing to study, giving up. I had my first exam this morning. It was exactly what I expected: difficult, but I probably passed. Most people described it as having raped them, and people are now more readily willing to agree with me; that our chemistry professor really wasn't very good.
We also had our first Dead Engineers Society** meeting last night. It went well enough and it made for good practice for chemistry, but now we think that the smaller the group the better. I'm guessing that three is optimal. We had a long talk afterward and have many ideas of how to make this work. Oh, and I think we've got the room secured regardless of having it booked or no because the janitor (who secretly uses the rooms computer to watch television shows) let's us get away with it. In all, the session demonstrated that while these clandestine meeting could be useful for study, we've a long way to go to make them work.
On the other side of campus in residence, I'm basically living in our floor lounge. This has been noticed by several people; that I spend most of my time (and the most time of any of my floor-mates) in the floor lounge. I do most of my studying in here (yes, that's implying that I'm here, in the lounge, right now), as well as many of my debates and conversations with Alex and Joël. I cook and eat a few meals a week in here, as well as cleaning the place up. I watch movies with certain friends, and now, the latest addition: I sleep in here.
This came last night, when I couldn't take my roommate's snoring anymore. I think of hurting him every night as I have trouble trying to find some shred of somnus. It usually comes a few subjective hours later, after going insane from the constant noise and exhausting myself from irritation. This cannot be healthy for me.
So, I put on my cloths and my gray hoodie, headed into the lounge, closed the door, lay down on the row a chairs, and slept. It worked rather well. Any time someone enters the room, the loud creaking of the door alerts me (such as when Joël walked in stood looking over me until he recognized who I was), and there aren't too many late night visitors. Surprisingly, the light from the hallway and the noise of people going about their late night affairs, as well as the refrigerator, don't bother me all that much. I slept well, even for the few hours I was left with.
Now, I have to confront my roommate about his snoring. I HAVE TO because I know that if I don't, I'll let these types of issues slide in the future, and I don't want to set such a bad precedent. I'm just having trouble because I'm not usually direct and up front, I dislike confrontation, and because our quiet disregard of each other makes him seem unapproachable (especially since I know he doesn't want a roommate to begin with).
Anyway, moving on. I had a call from home a few days ago. These are usually somewhat inconvenient and frequently involve several failed calls back and forth before I'm in a place where I can take a call (id est, not class or a library), and people on both ends pick up. It's nice to hear from the other side of the country, but the calls are usually hard to hear. My parents live on the edge of cellphone service and know how to use Skype very well. Still, it's nice to know what's up on the other coast.
And that's about it. I have some more I could say about my (lack of) love life, academics, or conversations, but I won't bore you with that.
*Final exams of the term.
**The name comes from the Dead Poets Society. It's a bit morbid, but the whole thing is a work in progress.
We also had our first Dead Engineers Society** meeting last night. It went well enough and it made for good practice for chemistry, but now we think that the smaller the group the better. I'm guessing that three is optimal. We had a long talk afterward and have many ideas of how to make this work. Oh, and I think we've got the room secured regardless of having it booked or no because the janitor (who secretly uses the rooms computer to watch television shows) let's us get away with it. In all, the session demonstrated that while these clandestine meeting could be useful for study, we've a long way to go to make them work.
On the other side of campus in residence, I'm basically living in our floor lounge. This has been noticed by several people; that I spend most of my time (and the most time of any of my floor-mates) in the floor lounge. I do most of my studying in here (yes, that's implying that I'm here, in the lounge, right now), as well as many of my debates and conversations with Alex and Joël. I cook and eat a few meals a week in here, as well as cleaning the place up. I watch movies with certain friends, and now, the latest addition: I sleep in here.
This came last night, when I couldn't take my roommate's snoring anymore. I think of hurting him every night as I have trouble trying to find some shred of somnus. It usually comes a few subjective hours later, after going insane from the constant noise and exhausting myself from irritation. This cannot be healthy for me.
So, I put on my cloths and my gray hoodie, headed into the lounge, closed the door, lay down on the row a chairs, and slept. It worked rather well. Any time someone enters the room, the loud creaking of the door alerts me (such as when Joël walked in stood looking over me until he recognized who I was), and there aren't too many late night visitors. Surprisingly, the light from the hallway and the noise of people going about their late night affairs, as well as the refrigerator, don't bother me all that much. I slept well, even for the few hours I was left with.
Now, I have to confront my roommate about his snoring. I HAVE TO because I know that if I don't, I'll let these types of issues slide in the future, and I don't want to set such a bad precedent. I'm just having trouble because I'm not usually direct and up front, I dislike confrontation, and because our quiet disregard of each other makes him seem unapproachable (especially since I know he doesn't want a roommate to begin with).
Anyway, moving on. I had a call from home a few days ago. These are usually somewhat inconvenient and frequently involve several failed calls back and forth before I'm in a place where I can take a call (id est, not class or a library), and people on both ends pick up. It's nice to hear from the other side of the country, but the calls are usually hard to hear. My parents live on the edge of cellphone service and know how to use Skype very well. Still, it's nice to know what's up on the other coast.
And that's about it. I have some more I could say about my (lack of) love life, academics, or conversations, but I won't bore you with that.
*Final exams of the term.
**The name comes from the Dead Poets Society. It's a bit morbid, but the whole thing is a work in progress.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
And since I've not place to go...
As I've mention, I won't be home for the holidays. I've decided to stay in Vancouver. This is partially because I think it would cost too much (even though my parents would pay, I still factor this in). It's also partly because I want to be independent. Another factor is just that I want to see what Christmas is like in Vancouver. I'm also hoping to get some studying done over the break (this is fun for me). And finally, it's just to avoid the minor nuisances of moving around.
On the other side (literally, of the country), it means that I won't see my parents, my friends or my co-workers. I would love to visit, to just drop in to Boston Pizza, order a dirty Keven* and make my own pizza. Have a few rounds with friends, share an appy platter. Play a few rounds of Halo with my friends. It's very enticing, but sadly I don't see it as worth the cost, the effort, and all the little things. I plan to be back for the summer thought. It'll be nice to see what has changed and what has stayed the same.
Instead, I'm staying in Vancouver. The university kicks us out for the break, so I've been looking into places to stay. I've talked to my family in the area, found a few places to stay for a few days. I'll be fine, and hopefully even get to meet up with some people over the break.
On the other side (literally, of the country), it means that I won't see my parents, my friends or my co-workers. I would love to visit, to just drop in to Boston Pizza, order a dirty Keven* and make my own pizza. Have a few rounds with friends, share an appy platter. Play a few rounds of Halo with my friends. It's very enticing, but sadly I don't see it as worth the cost, the effort, and all the little things. I plan to be back for the summer thought. It'll be nice to see what has changed and what has stayed the same.
Instead, I'm staying in Vancouver. The university kicks us out for the break, so I've been looking into places to stay. I've talked to my family in the area, found a few places to stay for a few days. I'll be fine, and hopefully even get to meet up with some people over the break.
But the fire is so delightful,
There are a lot of details I haven't covered, for example, food. And then there are a lot of major items I haven't covered, like my debates with Joël and Alex.
I'll start with food. It's an easy topic. I mostly eat cafeteria food, but that gets boring. I mix it up with Pizza from the local pizza place, pi*r^2. If I'm lucky, I'll find an excuse to go into Vancouver for a meal, like the chocolate. Mostly thought, I eat food from my own stash in residence. I bought a rice cooker, have a constant supply of chopsticks from the cafeteria, and bags of rice from the local grocery store cost twelve dollars for eight kilograms (a 30 gram bag of chips costs a dollar, one kilogram is one thousand grams). I also have nachos with cheese, (a grater, ) and salsa.
I spend most of my time sitting in the lounge, which is also the closest thing we have to a kitchen. We've added several chairs to it from other floors, filled the fridge, and burned many bags of popcorn in our broken microwave. The engineers of our floor often use it for group sessions, and Alex have many of our debates in here. It's also where many a drunk party have happened, and where I often clean them up. I don't mind, having worked at a bar, it's not bother to me and I enjoy cleaning.
As to the debates, anything less than a whole entry wouldn't do it justice. So I'll leave those alone for now. I am working on typing them up formally either way, so I hope to have something to post soon.
I also spend some time on third floor (I live on fifth). There're some cool guys and some hot girls. One in particular has caught my attention. I remember meeting her after a night of failing to find a party. Ever since, we've been friends. Mostly, we watch movies together, chick flicks, classics, and winter themed movies. She knows that I'm attracted to her, but... I don't know. Maybe I've made a fool of myself in front of her too many times, maybe (definitely) I've been way too obvious while never actually having the courage to ask her out. She's funny, nice, attractive, and I just like being around her.
I don't think I love her, I don't even have a meaning for the word love (well, I do: undefined*, but that doesn't help). It's more than attraction, which is simply seeing someone as being beautiful. The word I use is affection**, although my meaning for the term may be different from what you'll find in a dictionary. It's the same feeling I had for a girl in pink shoes from a few years back, though I purposely let that transform into friendship. This... I don't know. I want to ask her out, but...
Part of the problem is that I value her too much as a friend to risk it. Another factor is that I keep hear about the boys she goes out with. I hear so many girls talking about how much of a jerk their recent ex-boyfriends are (actually they just say that all guys are jerks, or assholes). This doesn't make me feel very good about my gender, actually it makes me feel like crap. I think about it and wonder how I would compare, how much of a jerk would I be. I would like to think that I'd be good to her, that we could get over any issues that come up, and that if it were necessary, I could break it off without breaking her heart (of course that's assuming I would get close enough, but even causing turmoil from a break up is undesirable to me).
Anyways, you're probably tired of reading about girls from me, so I'll stop myself there. It's three-forty-five, and I use a twenty-four hour clock. Good morning, I'm going to sleep.
*Undefined means having no definition, but it also means limitless. In mathematics, it's often used to represent infinities caused by dividing by zero.
**My use of affection is the state of having someone's emotion and mood directly affecting one's own, a feeling of strong empathy. Which usually drives me to try to make such a person happy, if I can.
I'll start with food. It's an easy topic. I mostly eat cafeteria food, but that gets boring. I mix it up with Pizza from the local pizza place, pi*r^2. If I'm lucky, I'll find an excuse to go into Vancouver for a meal, like the chocolate. Mostly thought, I eat food from my own stash in residence. I bought a rice cooker, have a constant supply of chopsticks from the cafeteria, and bags of rice from the local grocery store cost twelve dollars for eight kilograms (a 30 gram bag of chips costs a dollar, one kilogram is one thousand grams). I also have nachos with cheese, (a grater, ) and salsa.
I spend most of my time sitting in the lounge, which is also the closest thing we have to a kitchen. We've added several chairs to it from other floors, filled the fridge, and burned many bags of popcorn in our broken microwave. The engineers of our floor often use it for group sessions, and Alex have many of our debates in here. It's also where many a drunk party have happened, and where I often clean them up. I don't mind, having worked at a bar, it's not bother to me and I enjoy cleaning.
As to the debates, anything less than a whole entry wouldn't do it justice. So I'll leave those alone for now. I am working on typing them up formally either way, so I hope to have something to post soon.I also spend some time on third floor (I live on fifth). There're some cool guys and some hot girls. One in particular has caught my attention. I remember meeting her after a night of failing to find a party. Ever since, we've been friends. Mostly, we watch movies together, chick flicks, classics, and winter themed movies. She knows that I'm attracted to her, but... I don't know. Maybe I've made a fool of myself in front of her too many times, maybe (definitely) I've been way too obvious while never actually having the courage to ask her out. She's funny, nice, attractive, and I just like being around her.
I don't think I love her, I don't even have a meaning for the word love (well, I do: undefined*, but that doesn't help). It's more than attraction, which is simply seeing someone as being beautiful. The word I use is affection**, although my meaning for the term may be different from what you'll find in a dictionary. It's the same feeling I had for a girl in pink shoes from a few years back, though I purposely let that transform into friendship. This... I don't know. I want to ask her out, but...
Part of the problem is that I value her too much as a friend to risk it. Another factor is that I keep hear about the boys she goes out with. I hear so many girls talking about how much of a jerk their recent ex-boyfriends are (actually they just say that all guys are jerks, or assholes). This doesn't make me feel very good about my gender, actually it makes me feel like crap. I think about it and wonder how I would compare, how much of a jerk would I be. I would like to think that I'd be good to her, that we could get over any issues that come up, and that if it were necessary, I could break it off without breaking her heart (of course that's assuming I would get close enough, but even causing turmoil from a break up is undesirable to me).
Anyways, you're probably tired of reading about girls from me, so I'll stop myself there. It's three-forty-five, and I use a twenty-four hour clock. Good morning, I'm going to sleep.
*Undefined means having no definition, but it also means limitless. In mathematics, it's often used to represent infinities caused by dividing by zero.
**My use of affection is the state of having someone's emotion and mood directly affecting one's own, a feeling of strong empathy. Which usually drives me to try to make such a person happy, if I can.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Forty-Eight Hours
Yesterday marked the last of my computer programming classes. I finished some code for a scrolling display that morning, then talked to Alex about our the engineering study group we're trying to start. I then made it my mission to learn about booking classrooms, taking me to the other side of campus. And while I was there I visited the wellness center.
I want to go into detail, so I'll add that Alex and I are trying to organize a closed group for engineering study sessions. We've found that we work great in groups, and that empty classrooms are a lot of fun, so now we want to combine the two. I love the idea.
It's similar to what I think universities should be: people working together, sharing ideas, and learning. We're taking out the professors and taking their places ourselves, teaching and helping each other. There're no pressures for doing well side from some friendly competition and our own desires to learn.
Ales is also keeping it closed, which is probably a good idea starting off. We're trying to keep the group small (smaller groups are more effective), and avoid parasites (people who take in all they can without giving back). It'll be nice to test out this method of study, and if it works, maybe expanding on it.
So, after talking to him about that, we also talked about one such parasite. Earlier in the year I had taken on tutoring a few people. I thought it a great way to practice what I know and help someone out. It was, until I found someone who was too far deep in work and stress to help. I tried, and did have some success teaching her some physics and mathematics concepts, but it became too much of a time sink, and she created too much stress for myself and Alex. The situation isn't over, but I hope to resolve it soon.
These were what I was thinking about as I jogged across campus. I got the information I needed, then visited the wellness center. While heavily oriented towards sexual wellness (a common theme in university health), it also ha lots of information on eating, sleep, stress, religion, an much more. I basically let them show me around to all the different resources, information, pamphlets et cetera, taking it all in. Then I had a chat with an engineer, mentioned that I'm thinking about engineering physics and had a talk about it. He was the first person, who after hearing about my interest in physics, agreed that I should be in eng phys. I left the place feeling informed and content.
Then I came back, finished an online physics quiz in ten minutes (due in thirty), and took over the floor lounge, playing video games and watching movies.
Around four or five, Joël's girlfriend came by. I thought it strange to see her without him, but then I found out why. She was here to fill his room to the top with balloons. We had a little over an hour before he would be back, so we set to it.
We got to his room and started blowing up balloons, which soon covered his floor. I tried calling a few people to help, but no one was around, and we eventually decided to stop, hide the balloons (in my room), and restart later on that night.
Joël came back, we had supper, and soon after they headed out together. His girlfriend making sure to lock up, or that is to say, to forget to lock up. I got the balloons back in his room, and started getting as many people as I could to help. It wasn't long before the balloons were up to my knees and people were getting bored and tired. But about a half hour later, Alex showed up.
We got it up to waist height, turned off the lights, hid beneath the lake of balloons, and waited. It was honestly the best expression of pure joy I've ever seen. Better than any walking-down-the-stairs-on-x-mas-morning-to-find-the-red-bicycle-you-always-wanted smile I've ever seen. It was awesome, and the fun we had playing around in the balloons was well worth the hours of blowing them up.
It was probably the best idea for a birthday surprise I've seen, just enough scale, creativity, and childishness to be amazing. (I should probably explain, it was actually his birthday three months ago, but he was on his own in the dorms at the time, so now that people are here (myself included), we're celebrating.)
After much balloon fun and silliness, I went to bed.
Then next morning (THIS morning actually), I woke at six-thirty, dressed in red and got read to spread some holiday cheer. I had some three-month-old energy drink and found the last of my Jack Daniel's and with some engineering buddies, headed for the Cheeze (the engineer hangout). There, free alcohol and eggnog were provided, and would be needed for the next four hours.
Fueled by drink, a mob of engineers then began storming through the buildings of UBC, caroling, spreading x-mas joy, being belligerently drunk, and singing classics such as "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" and "Frosty the Photon." For four hours, I kept drunk enough to be among the loudest and most joyful caroler you ever did see.
Then I had to run back to residence for my stuff and headed for the latter half of my math class. I fell asleep and probably almost passed out, but somehow managed to take notes and learned something about remainder theorem (always find the most you can be wrong by).
Then I went to thermodynamics. I was intelligent, but got a question wrong because I was too bored to count the number of waves in a question. * I was still able to participate in class even while drunk.
After thermodynamics, I walked to HEBB with Alex to show him some prospective classrooms to take over, ones with chalkboards the whole way around the room. And while in HEBB, I decided to show him then eng phys penthouse.
We went up to the top and talked to some eng phys students. We talked about what eng phys entails, what type of person should join, and what cool stuff you get to do. One guy showed us a video of robots designed for rescue, and while still drunk, I was criticizing and commenting on the different designs. Then we talked about what type of work "fizzers" do, and talked to a guy who worked at Activision (a major gaming company) doing eng phys. All in all, I'm now pretty much set on engineering physics.
We then left to go to my next class, for which Alex stayed for a few minutes. I didn't do very much in it. I just say there and wrote stuff down.
Finally, it was time for chemistry. I walked into class to find one of my friends not there, and in his place, someone saying that I would probably pass out in class. I disregarded his comment and paid much attention to the lecture. It really was entertaining, with our professor ending it with discussion on how entropy can be interpreted as a valuable life lesson and referencing many inspirational works. The class ended with much applause.
I went for a slice of pizza, came back to residence, and finished my last physics assignment, ending all my work for this semester. I then went to the laundry room, where we stored all the balloons, and started playing around. A few people joined me and we had some fun sticking balloons to the roof. And that's when I started typing. Still slightly drunk, but well in the mood for writing.
Bt that's not where this ends. I then joined Joël and some friends for supper to celebrate his three-months-prior birthday, at an all you can eat buffet of chocolate. We caught the bus downtown, walked a short ways, chatting all the way and soon found ourselves in a very nice restaurant of chocolate. Excellent food, great service, and a wonderful time. I recommend the place to anyone who enjoys chocolate and thinks they could eat a limitless supply**.
We caught a bus home, chatting about surreal concepts and hive-mind-ism. Now I'm tired from the best forty-eight hours I've spent in university so far. I love times like these. I've filled a room to waist height in balloons, been merrily drunk and enjoying myself, spread x-mas cheer and holiday spirit with the engineers, and had more than my fill of fine chocolate desserts. I'm not sure how this can be topped.
Thank you and good night.
*Note: I was still in the process of sobering up while writing the above portion. From this point on in writing I'm sober. Do you notice any difference?
**But I forget the name. It was in an equally nice hotel.
I want to go into detail, so I'll add that Alex and I are trying to organize a closed group for engineering study sessions. We've found that we work great in groups, and that empty classrooms are a lot of fun, so now we want to combine the two. I love the idea.
It's similar to what I think universities should be: people working together, sharing ideas, and learning. We're taking out the professors and taking their places ourselves, teaching and helping each other. There're no pressures for doing well side from some friendly competition and our own desires to learn.
Ales is also keeping it closed, which is probably a good idea starting off. We're trying to keep the group small (smaller groups are more effective), and avoid parasites (people who take in all they can without giving back). It'll be nice to test out this method of study, and if it works, maybe expanding on it.
So, after talking to him about that, we also talked about one such parasite. Earlier in the year I had taken on tutoring a few people. I thought it a great way to practice what I know and help someone out. It was, until I found someone who was too far deep in work and stress to help. I tried, and did have some success teaching her some physics and mathematics concepts, but it became too much of a time sink, and she created too much stress for myself and Alex. The situation isn't over, but I hope to resolve it soon.
These were what I was thinking about as I jogged across campus. I got the information I needed, then visited the wellness center. While heavily oriented towards sexual wellness (a common theme in university health), it also ha lots of information on eating, sleep, stress, religion, an much more. I basically let them show me around to all the different resources, information, pamphlets et cetera, taking it all in. Then I had a chat with an engineer, mentioned that I'm thinking about engineering physics and had a talk about it. He was the first person, who after hearing about my interest in physics, agreed that I should be in eng phys. I left the place feeling informed and content.
Then I came back, finished an online physics quiz in ten minutes (due in thirty), and took over the floor lounge, playing video games and watching movies.
Around four or five, Joël's girlfriend came by. I thought it strange to see her without him, but then I found out why. She was here to fill his room to the top with balloons. We had a little over an hour before he would be back, so we set to it.
We got to his room and started blowing up balloons, which soon covered his floor. I tried calling a few people to help, but no one was around, and we eventually decided to stop, hide the balloons (in my room), and restart later on that night.
Joël came back, we had supper, and soon after they headed out together. His girlfriend making sure to lock up, or that is to say, to forget to lock up. I got the balloons back in his room, and started getting as many people as I could to help. It wasn't long before the balloons were up to my knees and people were getting bored and tired. But about a half hour later, Alex showed up.
We got it up to waist height, turned off the lights, hid beneath the lake of balloons, and waited. It was honestly the best expression of pure joy I've ever seen. Better than any walking-down-the-stairs-on-x-mas-morning-to-find-the-red-bicycle-you-always-wanted smile I've ever seen. It was awesome, and the fun we had playing around in the balloons was well worth the hours of blowing them up.
It was probably the best idea for a birthday surprise I've seen, just enough scale, creativity, and childishness to be amazing. (I should probably explain, it was actually his birthday three months ago, but he was on his own in the dorms at the time, so now that people are here (myself included), we're celebrating.)
After much balloon fun and silliness, I went to bed.
Then next morning (THIS morning actually), I woke at six-thirty, dressed in red and got read to spread some holiday cheer. I had some three-month-old energy drink and found the last of my Jack Daniel's and with some engineering buddies, headed for the Cheeze (the engineer hangout). There, free alcohol and eggnog were provided, and would be needed for the next four hours.
Fueled by drink, a mob of engineers then began storming through the buildings of UBC, caroling, spreading x-mas joy, being belligerently drunk, and singing classics such as "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" and "Frosty the Photon." For four hours, I kept drunk enough to be among the loudest and most joyful caroler you ever did see.
Then I had to run back to residence for my stuff and headed for the latter half of my math class. I fell asleep and probably almost passed out, but somehow managed to take notes and learned something about remainder theorem (always find the most you can be wrong by).
Then I went to thermodynamics. I was intelligent, but got a question wrong because I was too bored to count the number of waves in a question. * I was still able to participate in class even while drunk.
After thermodynamics, I walked to HEBB with Alex to show him some prospective classrooms to take over, ones with chalkboards the whole way around the room. And while in HEBB, I decided to show him then eng phys penthouse.
We went up to the top and talked to some eng phys students. We talked about what eng phys entails, what type of person should join, and what cool stuff you get to do. One guy showed us a video of robots designed for rescue, and while still drunk, I was criticizing and commenting on the different designs. Then we talked about what type of work "fizzers" do, and talked to a guy who worked at Activision (a major gaming company) doing eng phys. All in all, I'm now pretty much set on engineering physics.
We then left to go to my next class, for which Alex stayed for a few minutes. I didn't do very much in it. I just say there and wrote stuff down.
Finally, it was time for chemistry. I walked into class to find one of my friends not there, and in his place, someone saying that I would probably pass out in class. I disregarded his comment and paid much attention to the lecture. It really was entertaining, with our professor ending it with discussion on how entropy can be interpreted as a valuable life lesson and referencing many inspirational works. The class ended with much applause.
I went for a slice of pizza, came back to residence, and finished my last physics assignment, ending all my work for this semester. I then went to the laundry room, where we stored all the balloons, and started playing around. A few people joined me and we had some fun sticking balloons to the roof. And that's when I started typing. Still slightly drunk, but well in the mood for writing.
Bt that's not where this ends. I then joined Joël and some friends for supper to celebrate his three-months-prior birthday, at an all you can eat buffet of chocolate. We caught the bus downtown, walked a short ways, chatting all the way and soon found ourselves in a very nice restaurant of chocolate. Excellent food, great service, and a wonderful time. I recommend the place to anyone who enjoys chocolate and thinks they could eat a limitless supply**.
We caught a bus home, chatting about surreal concepts and hive-mind-ism. Now I'm tired from the best forty-eight hours I've spent in university so far. I love times like these. I've filled a room to waist height in balloons, been merrily drunk and enjoying myself, spread x-mas cheer and holiday spirit with the engineers, and had more than my fill of fine chocolate desserts. I'm not sure how this can be topped.
Thank you and good night.
*Note: I was still in the process of sobering up while writing the above portion. From this point on in writing I'm sober. Do you notice any difference?
**But I forget the name. It was in an equally nice hotel.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Well, the weather outside is frightful,
Vancouver weather is pretty simple. There's rain, rain, overcast, rain, a chance at sun, and more rain. Every time you head outside in Vancouver, you just hope you get to where you're going before it starts raining again. You can wear your rain jacket and cover your backpack, or you can just chance it, either way, you're just going to have to get used to getting wet.
That said, most of my time is spent inside. I like running around, but I mostly move from building to building. I spent a lot of my time walking around campus. I often explore the SUB, looking for new places, things I've missed, or things that've changed each time. I walk around the academic buildings, looking at classrooms. On dry days I travel farther and explore the gardens and the areas up North. Basically, if I've not studying, tutoring, talking to a girl, or having a debate with a friend, (sometime even when I am,) I'm walking around campus.
I've always liked exploring, finding new paths, making mental maps, learning the lay of the land. In Japan, I probably spent twelve hours a week just walking around. In Sydney, I was a delivery boy, a cyclist, and a long distance runner, often optimizing routes or finding new places to go. Even now that I'm living on a small campus, I'm still trying to explore the edges.
In addition to simply exploring, I also like to see what I can find. There're stores and shops that are almost hidden in the SUB, if I find a group of people standing around something, I find out what they're looking at. I look through the bulletin boards for events and opportunities, I peek in at classes and labs, when I see a vantage point, I stand on it and look at the view (and take pictures).
This is useful for a few different thing. It's great to clear my head, to just get outside. It helps me find my way around. I find all the cool restaurants and shops. But most importantly, I find places to meet and study.
Most recently, I've started taking over empty classes. I have yet to find out the official process for this, but I've found that as long as you're ready to move out when someone who book the room comes in, you can get away with going from class to class to auditorium. One friend and I took over one of the large auditoriums for two hours. We used the chalk boards to write out our formulae, derivations, calculations and proofs. We would work on questions, then take to the other's work, looking at it, correcting it, making sure we agreed on our conclusions. It was hilariously funny, especially when we would take turns teaching each other all professor-like.
That said, most of my time is spent inside. I like running around, but I mostly move from building to building. I spent a lot of my time walking around campus. I often explore the SUB, looking for new places, things I've missed, or things that've changed each time. I walk around the academic buildings, looking at classrooms. On dry days I travel farther and explore the gardens and the areas up North. Basically, if I've not studying, tutoring, talking to a girl, or having a debate with a friend, (sometime even when I am,) I'm walking around campus.
I've always liked exploring, finding new paths, making mental maps, learning the lay of the land. In Japan, I probably spent twelve hours a week just walking around. In Sydney, I was a delivery boy, a cyclist, and a long distance runner, often optimizing routes or finding new places to go. Even now that I'm living on a small campus, I'm still trying to explore the edges.
In addition to simply exploring, I also like to see what I can find. There're stores and shops that are almost hidden in the SUB, if I find a group of people standing around something, I find out what they're looking at. I look through the bulletin boards for events and opportunities, I peek in at classes and labs, when I see a vantage point, I stand on it and look at the view (and take pictures).
This is useful for a few different thing. It's great to clear my head, to just get outside. It helps me find my way around. I find all the cool restaurants and shops. But most importantly, I find places to meet and study.
Most recently, I've started taking over empty classes. I have yet to find out the official process for this, but I've found that as long as you're ready to move out when someone who book the room comes in, you can get away with going from class to class to auditorium. One friend and I took over one of the large auditoriums for two hours. We used the chalk boards to write out our formulae, derivations, calculations and proofs. We would work on questions, then take to the other's work, looking at it, correcting it, making sure we agreed on our conclusions. It was hilariously funny, especially when we would take turns teaching each other all professor-like.
Monday, November 29, 2010
**** you eng phys
(Fuck you eng phys/fizz is the name of a song about engineering physics at UBC, by a UBC engineering physics student.)
I think I've mentioned before that I'm looking into engineering physics. I'm not sure if I've mentioned what people keep telling me; "don't."
Engineering physics is basically applying the more complex ideas of physics such as electricity, quantum physics, optics, nuclear, or maybe even simple mechanics to engineering. It's technologically advanced, often deals with equations that would make you give up on math (it's suggested that eng phys students not take extra math courses, since they're physics calculations are more advanced) and require a super computer. It's a common joke (well, more like reality) that engineering physics students don't have lives, and it's a five year degree (whereas most degrees are four year programs). That's if you pass all your courses.
Well, a few days ago, I decided to do some exploring. I walked to the top of Henn, the physics and astronomy building, where there are many diagrams of physics concepts, pictures of galaxies (in various ranges of light), and some books and antiques on display. Then I walked across a hallway joining Henn to Hebb, where posters displayed a timeline of Principia, Newton's book that revoltionized mathematics and physics (including relolution). Then I reached Hebb, where there are intruments of physics that would make a cello feel small and insignificant. Up the stairs to the top floor, through the doorway where I noticed the video game poster, and up the blue stairs.
At the top was a room with event posters, thick books on low shelves, a complicated mechanical device of some kind, windows with a view over a large part of the campus (but it was a bad day for pictures), and sitting at a table, some engineering physics students, hard at work. I continued down a hallway of what looked like studying cubicles to another open room, this one with more tables, a few more students, vending machines (selling root^2 beer), and it's own cairn (the cairn is large, almost tetrahedral, concrete slab in the middle of UBC with E's written on each face as a display of the engineers' dominance). I eventually exchanged a few words with someone, telling them I was a first year looking into engineering physics. A couple of them looked around awkwardly for a moment before someone said what was on everybody (paying attention)'s mind: "Don't." I didn't argue, instead I headed back down and to class.
Since then, twice I've noticed posters advertising a branch of physics, and I've thought to myself, "that look cool, what is it." Both times, they were posters for engineering physics. Damn.
I think I've mentioned before that I'm looking into engineering physics. I'm not sure if I've mentioned what people keep telling me; "don't."
Engineering physics is basically applying the more complex ideas of physics such as electricity, quantum physics, optics, nuclear, or maybe even simple mechanics to engineering. It's technologically advanced, often deals with equations that would make you give up on math (it's suggested that eng phys students not take extra math courses, since they're physics calculations are more advanced) and require a super computer. It's a common joke (well, more like reality) that engineering physics students don't have lives, and it's a five year degree (whereas most degrees are four year programs). That's if you pass all your courses.
Well, a few days ago, I decided to do some exploring. I walked to the top of Henn, the physics and astronomy building, where there are many diagrams of physics concepts, pictures of galaxies (in various ranges of light), and some books and antiques on display. Then I walked across a hallway joining Henn to Hebb, where posters displayed a timeline of Principia, Newton's book that revoltionized mathematics and physics (including relolution). Then I reached Hebb, where there are intruments of physics that would make a cello feel small and insignificant. Up the stairs to the top floor, through the doorway where I noticed the video game poster, and up the blue stairs.
At the top was a room with event posters, thick books on low shelves, a complicated mechanical device of some kind, windows with a view over a large part of the campus (but it was a bad day for pictures), and sitting at a table, some engineering physics students, hard at work. I continued down a hallway of what looked like studying cubicles to another open room, this one with more tables, a few more students, vending machines (selling root^2 beer), and it's own cairn (the cairn is large, almost tetrahedral, concrete slab in the middle of UBC with E's written on each face as a display of the engineers' dominance). I eventually exchanged a few words with someone, telling them I was a first year looking into engineering physics. A couple of them looked around awkwardly for a moment before someone said what was on everybody (paying attention)'s mind: "Don't." I didn't argue, instead I headed back down and to class.
Since then, twice I've noticed posters advertising a branch of physics, and I've thought to myself, "that look cool, what is it." Both times, they were posters for engineering physics. Damn.
Definitions
Probably one of my best defined qualities is my use of definitions. I have a large catalog of words which hold very specific meanings to me, and which I use in very precise ways. You'll often hear me re-wording other people's sentences to make sure that we're using the same meaning*, or I'll define or ask for a definition of a word. This may seem odd, but it means a lot when your debates are as technical as some of the ones that I have. For example, I once had a debate about morals that ended before it started when we realized that I was using an objective scale (saying that there are no true universal morals), and my opponent was using a subjective scale (saying that there are societal accepted norms).
That is why, a few weeks ago, when someone told me that Christianity was not a religion, I had to re-work my entire vocabulary on the subject and even change my own personal stance.
As it happened, I was atheist, ex-catholic and strongly anti-clerical. I held, and still somewhat hold, a grudge against Catholicism, Christianity, and organized religion in in general.
Being told that Christianity wasn't a religion meant that I had the wrong idea about it, and had to re-define both religion and Christianity.
I spent the next few hours I had re-searching the subject. After several badly written websites on the subject, I came to an agreement that Christianity was not a religion, but a faith, a faith being a belief in (and including one's relationship with) deity. Religion, on the other hand, encompasses faith, but for an entire group of people and includes ideas such as morals, traditions, ceremonies, hierarchies, et cetera. So sure, Christianity isn't itself a religion, though I must add that there are many religions within Christianity (Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, et cetera).
Then I noticed something that annoyed me. Atheism was classified as a religion. It seemed like a contradiction in terms, but I found it to be true. Atheism has it's beliefs in the lack of a deity, and while there are no churches of it, it has many similar qualities to religion, including religious rights under law.
Realizing this lead to a personal dilemma. I disliked religion and didn't want to have any part in it. I quickly looked at my own beliefs: that I couldn't believe in any form of god I had ever hear presented. I had recently been thinking about pantheism and was using it in practice for a better definition of god**.
This motivated me to re-evaluate my position. Luckily, at the same time, I was working on a definition of science, because I had seen people debating whether science itself could be considered a belief system. So I focused on re-defining science.
After much rationalization, I decided that the main factor was that science was based on verifying through doubt, whereas religion was purely based on faith.
In other words, faith works by by finding a way to make sense of an observation based on ideals of god and the faith itself, and you can never disprove faith, though you can dis-verify it***.
In opposition, science works by coming up with theories and any time that the theory doesn't work, it is disproven. Also, a theory is always just a theory, there is no way to truly prove anything. I've also added to my definition that science requires the assumption that the universe can be modeled by theories, and that if somehow this is ever disproven, science as a whole must reject itself.
That last point is what I believe to be the most crucial point: it is possible to disprove science, but it is impossible to disprove faith. For this reason, I accept science, because faith does not allow for the possibility of being wrong.
It is important to get this point, science**** might not be right. Just because science says this today, doesn't mean that that's what science will say a hundred years from now, or even tomorrow. In fact, science might not even be right, science can be wrong, and we have to allow for that. Many people seem to take science as fact. It's not, it's just our best estimate. We're often wrong, and we might never get the right answers, but the scientific method is (at the very least, in my opinion) the best way we have of learning about our world.
This also means that nothing is absolutely knowable. There is no way to know anything absolutely. This means that the most scientific perspective might be agnosticism, but this is unappealing for two reasons. First, it's impractical to simply state that something is unknowable and leave it at that. We can still try, and most of us do. The second is that I'm not sure if god is knowable or not. I've found it hard even to simply define god. How many names, entities, personae, phenomena and ideals have been affixed to this "god" thing? I don't know what god is, I don't see why this idea of a higher being exists. There's no reason to ask the question "does go exist?" because we have no idea even what "god" is.
Hence, I've taken to ignosticism (which can be characterized my my latter two sentences). I don't see a point in asking whether god exists. Maybe someday there will be, but for now, I don't see any real reason to address it.
*For example, when someone has an idea that is along the same lines, but not exactly the same as my own, I'll say, "precisely," then correct myself and say, "well, actually I should say, 'accurately.'"
** Pantheism is the view that god is the all of the universe (as opposed to the supreme being outside the universe of most theisms). It worked well for me practically because I could use the term god in my vocabulary without a conflict. It's hard to blaspheme without some kind of "god."
*** For example, you can ask people to pray for something, and if it doesn't happen, then you can add one more point against the belief in god, but you can never entirely disprove god.
**** In this paragraph, I'm not talking about the scientific method, but the conclusion of science.
That is why, a few weeks ago, when someone told me that Christianity was not a religion, I had to re-work my entire vocabulary on the subject and even change my own personal stance.
As it happened, I was atheist, ex-catholic and strongly anti-clerical. I held, and still somewhat hold, a grudge against Catholicism, Christianity, and organized religion in in general.
Being told that Christianity wasn't a religion meant that I had the wrong idea about it, and had to re-define both religion and Christianity.
I spent the next few hours I had re-searching the subject. After several badly written websites on the subject, I came to an agreement that Christianity was not a religion, but a faith, a faith being a belief in (and including one's relationship with) deity. Religion, on the other hand, encompasses faith, but for an entire group of people and includes ideas such as morals, traditions, ceremonies, hierarchies, et cetera. So sure, Christianity isn't itself a religion, though I must add that there are many religions within Christianity (Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, et cetera).
Then I noticed something that annoyed me. Atheism was classified as a religion. It seemed like a contradiction in terms, but I found it to be true. Atheism has it's beliefs in the lack of a deity, and while there are no churches of it, it has many similar qualities to religion, including religious rights under law.
Realizing this lead to a personal dilemma. I disliked religion and didn't want to have any part in it. I quickly looked at my own beliefs: that I couldn't believe in any form of god I had ever hear presented. I had recently been thinking about pantheism and was using it in practice for a better definition of god**.
This motivated me to re-evaluate my position. Luckily, at the same time, I was working on a definition of science, because I had seen people debating whether science itself could be considered a belief system. So I focused on re-defining science.
After much rationalization, I decided that the main factor was that science was based on verifying through doubt, whereas religion was purely based on faith.
In other words, faith works by by finding a way to make sense of an observation based on ideals of god and the faith itself, and you can never disprove faith, though you can dis-verify it***.
In opposition, science works by coming up with theories and any time that the theory doesn't work, it is disproven. Also, a theory is always just a theory, there is no way to truly prove anything. I've also added to my definition that science requires the assumption that the universe can be modeled by theories, and that if somehow this is ever disproven, science as a whole must reject itself.
That last point is what I believe to be the most crucial point: it is possible to disprove science, but it is impossible to disprove faith. For this reason, I accept science, because faith does not allow for the possibility of being wrong.
It is important to get this point, science**** might not be right. Just because science says this today, doesn't mean that that's what science will say a hundred years from now, or even tomorrow. In fact, science might not even be right, science can be wrong, and we have to allow for that. Many people seem to take science as fact. It's not, it's just our best estimate. We're often wrong, and we might never get the right answers, but the scientific method is (at the very least, in my opinion) the best way we have of learning about our world.
This also means that nothing is absolutely knowable. There is no way to know anything absolutely. This means that the most scientific perspective might be agnosticism, but this is unappealing for two reasons. First, it's impractical to simply state that something is unknowable and leave it at that. We can still try, and most of us do. The second is that I'm not sure if god is knowable or not. I've found it hard even to simply define god. How many names, entities, personae, phenomena and ideals have been affixed to this "god" thing? I don't know what god is, I don't see why this idea of a higher being exists. There's no reason to ask the question "does go exist?" because we have no idea even what "god" is.
Hence, I've taken to ignosticism (which can be characterized my my latter two sentences). I don't see a point in asking whether god exists. Maybe someday there will be, but for now, I don't see any real reason to address it.
*For example, when someone has an idea that is along the same lines, but not exactly the same as my own, I'll say, "precisely," then correct myself and say, "well, actually I should say, 'accurately.'"
** Pantheism is the view that god is the all of the universe (as opposed to the supreme being outside the universe of most theisms). It worked well for me practically because I could use the term god in my vocabulary without a conflict. It's hard to blaspheme without some kind of "god."
*** For example, you can ask people to pray for something, and if it doesn't happen, then you can add one more point against the belief in god, but you can never entirely disprove god.
**** In this paragraph, I'm not talking about the scientific method, but the conclusion of science.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
First Snow
Some days ago, I was headed home after a late night of study and work. I just got outside when I noticed that the rain was falling too lightly and in drops too small. It was snow, or at least crystallized water. I don't see why else it would behave as such, but it would melt before even getting a chance to land.
Last night, after a long and hilarious series of plays, some friends and I were running through the rain to our residence. We made it in still dry and decided to meet back in the house lounge for some studying. I had just set up my laptop in the lounge when I walked back and saw Joël and his girlfriend standing outside. I opened the door for him and noticed that he was starring out at the night. It was snow, small specks of white on a black canvas of the night.
Then, this morning, I was walking along East Mall, headed North. It was a chilly morning, maybe even cold, the sort where you're expecting to see Jack Frost out and about his business. I was looking blankly at the mountains, as I often do, and getting close to my stop. Then I noticed what I was looking for, frost, snow, and winter. The mountains had been topped with a light blanket of white. It was framed beautifully over the garden with the flag pole in the foreground and the mountains flying low as if trying to hide in the snow.
And now it's night and snowing outside. I've been in our house lounge looking out at it while chilling with some friends doing homework. They left a few minutes ago, just before it really started to come down.
I took a few steps outside, encouraged by Joël who finds the stuff to be a lot of fun. I didn't have a jacket, but for me in temperatures like this, I'm fine. We threw a few snowballs, agreed to a snow fight (including his girlfriend) at some later date, drew in the snow, and then I headed back in to my studies, telling him to enjoy the snow.
It's beautiful. I can see it in the light of the lamp posts and through the trees. A gentle, woolen, blanket. Every few minutes another person bursts through the doors exclaiming in amazement, "it's snowing!"
Last night, after a long and hilarious series of plays, some friends and I were running through the rain to our residence. We made it in still dry and decided to meet back in the house lounge for some studying. I had just set up my laptop in the lounge when I walked back and saw Joël and his girlfriend standing outside. I opened the door for him and noticed that he was starring out at the night. It was snow, small specks of white on a black canvas of the night.
Then, this morning, I was walking along East Mall, headed North. It was a chilly morning, maybe even cold, the sort where you're expecting to see Jack Frost out and about his business. I was looking blankly at the mountains, as I often do, and getting close to my stop. Then I noticed what I was looking for, frost, snow, and winter. The mountains had been topped with a light blanket of white. It was framed beautifully over the garden with the flag pole in the foreground and the mountains flying low as if trying to hide in the snow.
And now it's night and snowing outside. I've been in our house lounge looking out at it while chilling with some friends doing homework. They left a few minutes ago, just before it really started to come down.I took a few steps outside, encouraged by Joël who finds the stuff to be a lot of fun. I didn't have a jacket, but for me in temperatures like this, I'm fine. We threw a few snowballs, agreed to a snow fight (including his girlfriend) at some later date, drew in the snow, and then I headed back in to my studies, telling him to enjoy the snow.
It's beautiful. I can see it in the light of the lamp posts and through the trees. A gentle, woolen, blanket. Every few minutes another person bursts through the doors exclaiming in amazement, "it's snowing!"
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Beaming Sunlight
This is what happens when you drop your cellphone. People take it and take silly picture of themselves drunk.
This is one of the few times that the picture is a beautiful as the real thing. Take that Dorian Grey.
Focusing on the rain drops on the window.
Focusing on the view past the raindrops and the window.
Where's the monkey? Seriously, this thing sneaks around our floor and is rarely found twice in the same place.
This is why you don't bring engineering students to lunch, and why you DON'T GIVE THEM EXTRA GLASSES. They will incessantly build (rather stable) strange structures with them.
Sorry if you consider this distasteful. This is university: high on academics, freedom (including sexual) and many different organic compounds.
Our main study lounge. The chairs are comfy, but their springs are very noisy.People seem to prefer pictures with me in them, but it's difficult to take a good picture with me in it. Though here are a few snapshots from my computer's camera.
See, not as good.
See, not as good.Anyways, that's all for now. 以上だ。
Re-define
A few days ago, a few phrases exchanged with a Christian forced me to redefine my entire vocabulary on the subject of faith. My opinions haven't been changed so much as they've been refined. I'd go into it, but I'm still working on it and I want to go over it with someone before I try to state my ideas.
In the same way, I'm noticing that I have to re-define this log. Originally it was to keep track of my experiences in Japan, to record the memories, and to let everyone know what I was up to without having to directly type a hundred e-mails.
When I returned to Canada, I kept it (barely) alive by using it to keep track of where I was personally, and to practice writing.
Now, I'm not sure what it should be. I was using it as a log of my life in residence, of my thoughts, experiences, life, and an explanation of it all. But now I know I'm not some main character. In Japan, it was myself and a few other 外人 (foreigners). Back on the east coast, it was me on my own. Now, it's me and a mixture of fifty-thousand students. Our stories are intertwined. I can't tell my story without theirs, but I'm not sure if their stories are mine to tell. That's why I have three entries typed up and ready to go, two of them have been posted and taken down, two extra are still up, and I'm not sure what to do. Even if I don't use names, it's still their story.
I'm also not sure who's reading this. It was originally just family and friends. Strangers are welcome, as this is the Internet, but they're of little consequence to someone who has given up on the concept of privacy. But now it's not just mine, and anyone here (at university) who ready this, while it's the same as all the gossip they'll hear, will have an insight into the lives of those around me. And even if I ask permission, how do I say "do you mind if I keep a public online record of my life, including the parts about you?" It seems a bit strange.
I'm not sure whether I'll get any replies to this*, and people usually just tell me to do what I feel like doing, but this time, I'm really not sure.
Pictures to follow.
Oh, and I'll be staying in Vancouver for the winter break.
*Replying is easy and does not require an account, just click on the "comment" link immediately below.
In the same way, I'm noticing that I have to re-define this log. Originally it was to keep track of my experiences in Japan, to record the memories, and to let everyone know what I was up to without having to directly type a hundred e-mails.
When I returned to Canada, I kept it (barely) alive by using it to keep track of where I was personally, and to practice writing.
Now, I'm not sure what it should be. I was using it as a log of my life in residence, of my thoughts, experiences, life, and an explanation of it all. But now I know I'm not some main character. In Japan, it was myself and a few other 外人 (foreigners). Back on the east coast, it was me on my own. Now, it's me and a mixture of fifty-thousand students. Our stories are intertwined. I can't tell my story without theirs, but I'm not sure if their stories are mine to tell. That's why I have three entries typed up and ready to go, two of them have been posted and taken down, two extra are still up, and I'm not sure what to do. Even if I don't use names, it's still their story.
I'm also not sure who's reading this. It was originally just family and friends. Strangers are welcome, as this is the Internet, but they're of little consequence to someone who has given up on the concept of privacy. But now it's not just mine, and anyone here (at university) who ready this, while it's the same as all the gossip they'll hear, will have an insight into the lives of those around me. And even if I ask permission, how do I say "do you mind if I keep a public online record of my life, including the parts about you?" It seems a bit strange.
I'm not sure whether I'll get any replies to this*, and people usually just tell me to do what I feel like doing, but this time, I'm really not sure.
Pictures to follow.
Oh, and I'll be staying in Vancouver for the winter break.
*Replying is easy and does not require an account, just click on the "comment" link immediately below.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Next Night
If you are not the cause of something, but could have prevented it, are you responsible for the consequences?
After last night (the night after my previous entry), this is a question that is bothering me. The answer, as usual, depends on your definitions, in this case of responsible. It depends on if we're considered accountable or answerable for only that which we cause directly, or if we're also answerable or accountable for that which is within our ability.
Last night, I wanted to study. Unfortunately, once again, I was distracted. This time it was by a costume I got from a girl on third floor (who, in case of future reference, is friendly, hot, and Asian). She gave me a mini-fridge box, which I quickly found my way into, finding cracks out of which to see and finding new ways of walking (even using my PSP as a para-scope). I then got down to doing my math homework while watching Silent Running, an old, well done, science fiction movie about the last garden of Earth, ironically in space. I then found a mathematical formula (y^(2n)+x^2n=c where cER and nEN) that shows the transformation of a circle into a square, and I tried deriving the inverse of a circle, but none of my calculators could properly display it (n<0, nEZ). I then realized what time it was (one of the morning) and headed back to my room for sleep.
I didn't try sleeping right away, instead I tried building up to it by watching another movie to relax, Toy Story 3. I was twenty minutes in before someone walked in, then out. I Turned off the movie and the computer and decided to go straight for sleep (as opposed to watching my movie interrupted). This failed when a few moments later when my room mate burst in, drunk, again. A few others from my floor were trying to get him into bed. Knowing what I knew of last night, I encouraged them, but didn't bother to help what I considered futile. The night before he had not tried sleep until he was unable to do anything else. The same applied last night. When they thought they had him in, he jumped out. We got him in and I moved my dresser in front on the door. He pulled it aside without trouble or hesitation (I don't count initially failing to recognized that the door is blocked to be hesitation). From that point on, we gave up trying to stop him.
He ran around the floor a few times, he stumbled around, smashed his head against the wall, and then he started. He started tearing down posters and fliers from the walls and from people's doors. He was making a mess of whatever he could find. He took a vinyl record (used as a decoration on someones door) and threw it like a Frisbee. It shattered and came close to hitting us. I took down my posters and gave them to a friend for safe keeping for the night. He tried again and again to play his music loudly, and shouted when we took his iPod from him until we gave it back (he was never able to actually get the music playing, thankfully). He made a mess of his room, almost breaking a few of his possessions and treating his stuff like trash. Eventually we called an advisor, and moments before she showed up, he quieted down and stayed in his room. I left him on his own, this was more than I wanted and more than I was responsible for. I took up an offer to sleep in someone else's room on the floor.
But that night, before I fell asleep, three ideas went through my head. The first was visualization and a metaphor of life that I came up with as a make-think project to relax. The second was the thought of being in the same state as my room mate. I shivered until I stopped thinking about it. I would hope that someone would stop me if that ever happened. And that lead to my third thought, should someone stop someone else. Should I have stopped him from tearing everything up. If I envoke the golden rule, then yes, but that conflicts with my non-impediment principle (id est, let people do what they want so long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else). I felt selfish for protecting my own posters and stuff while not stopping him from tearing others' to pieces. I'm still to conflicted to solve these and I find the whole matter unsettling.
Well, hopefully I'll find solace and an answer, but right now I need to get my homework done.
After last night (the night after my previous entry), this is a question that is bothering me. The answer, as usual, depends on your definitions, in this case of responsible. It depends on if we're considered accountable or answerable for only that which we cause directly, or if we're also answerable or accountable for that which is within our ability.
Last night, I wanted to study. Unfortunately, once again, I was distracted. This time it was by a costume I got from a girl on third floor (who, in case of future reference, is friendly, hot, and Asian). She gave me a mini-fridge box, which I quickly found my way into, finding cracks out of which to see and finding new ways of walking (even using my PSP as a para-scope). I then got down to doing my math homework while watching Silent Running, an old, well done, science fiction movie about the last garden of Earth, ironically in space. I then found a mathematical formula (y^(2n)+x^2n=c where cER and nEN) that shows the transformation of a circle into a square, and I tried deriving the inverse of a circle, but none of my calculators could properly display it (n<0, nEZ). I then realized what time it was (one of the morning) and headed back to my room for sleep.
I didn't try sleeping right away, instead I tried building up to it by watching another movie to relax, Toy Story 3. I was twenty minutes in before someone walked in, then out. I Turned off the movie and the computer and decided to go straight for sleep (as opposed to watching my movie interrupted). This failed when a few moments later when my room mate burst in, drunk, again. A few others from my floor were trying to get him into bed. Knowing what I knew of last night, I encouraged them, but didn't bother to help what I considered futile. The night before he had not tried sleep until he was unable to do anything else. The same applied last night. When they thought they had him in, he jumped out. We got him in and I moved my dresser in front on the door. He pulled it aside without trouble or hesitation (I don't count initially failing to recognized that the door is blocked to be hesitation). From that point on, we gave up trying to stop him.
He ran around the floor a few times, he stumbled around, smashed his head against the wall, and then he started. He started tearing down posters and fliers from the walls and from people's doors. He was making a mess of whatever he could find. He took a vinyl record (used as a decoration on someones door) and threw it like a Frisbee. It shattered and came close to hitting us. I took down my posters and gave them to a friend for safe keeping for the night. He tried again and again to play his music loudly, and shouted when we took his iPod from him until we gave it back (he was never able to actually get the music playing, thankfully). He made a mess of his room, almost breaking a few of his possessions and treating his stuff like trash. Eventually we called an advisor, and moments before she showed up, he quieted down and stayed in his room. I left him on his own, this was more than I wanted and more than I was responsible for. I took up an offer to sleep in someone else's room on the floor.
But that night, before I fell asleep, three ideas went through my head. The first was visualization and a metaphor of life that I came up with as a make-think project to relax. The second was the thought of being in the same state as my room mate. I shivered until I stopped thinking about it. I would hope that someone would stop me if that ever happened. And that lead to my third thought, should someone stop someone else. Should I have stopped him from tearing everything up. If I envoke the golden rule, then yes, but that conflicts with my non-impediment principle (id est, let people do what they want so long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else). I felt selfish for protecting my own posters and stuff while not stopping him from tearing others' to pieces. I'm still to conflicted to solve these and I find the whole matter unsettling.
Well, hopefully I'll find solace and an answer, but right now I need to get my homework done.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Long Night
Tonight is going to be a long night, and it was supposed to be so simple. But day comes before night, and morning before day, so I'll start there.
This morning* barely started at all. My alarm went off, but it was still dark out. Seven is not a good time to wake up if you're looking for sunshine. It almost never is. I've found that the sun often rises shortly after six, sometimes as late as eight, an on occasion, as early as five, but seven is a no show.
I disabled my alarm and snuggled back into place, but soon the sky lightened to only dark gray, like dull gunmetal, and my room mate started to get ready. I left it until seven thirty to actually bother lifting myself up and dropping down out of bed. I was still dressed from yesterday and still as unshowered and unkempt as two days before, but I decided I was as ready as I could get before class.
I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. I didn't have enough time fror breakfast, maybe a snack, but there was no point in chancing it. I headed straight for my tutorial, throught the parking lot, up the back alley stairs, across East Mall, through Kaiser, and past the Cheeze. pausing breifly to joke with myself as to whether that was really a man dressed as the bunny from Danny Darko or whether I was in rough enough shape to be hallucinating. I made it to the lab with time to spare. My friend was already there, sitting in the seat beside mine. I share every class (that I attend) with him, and we were going to try some of our impossible physics questions.
The tutorial started. I paid some attention as I fiddled away on the lab's computer. Programming is easy, at least, once you get the concepts, understand some mathematical background, and know where to look for problems. I excel at it, I finish all our assignments first, and then spend most of the lab time fooling around. Today was a prime example. I was done out hour and a half long assignment in probably less than fifteen minutes, I could have done it faster, but then I started building an interface. Nothing special, it simply greeted the user, asked them what they wanted to do, asked for some numbers and printed the answers, and kept going until told to quit, at which point it would say the cliche, "Have a nice day!" before closing. The teacher's assistant seemed annoyed by the amount of extra (and to be honest, useless) code I'd written in. I was just biding time until my friend was done.
When it was over, we headed for the PPPP (first-year engineering study lounge) to work on some physics. Then when we got bored and hungry, we went to the Student Union Building (SUB) for some breakfast. We talked and ate until it was time for math, which I usually skip, but he convinced me otherwise. And he turned out to be right. I was startled to find them working on new material. I paid attention, picking up what I could and looking up how much further we had gotten in the book. I wasn't afraid of falling behind, but it's nice to know where I was expected to be.
Next was thermodynamics. We were working on entropy, learning new concepts on the fly (not having had the time to read ahead), and completing all the work we were given without too much trouble.
Then I headed back to rez with another friend during my vectors class. The teacher has even said that if we can do the work, that coming to class isn't necessary. I keep up with the work, and what little else the teacher teaches is obscure mathematical methods to solving force problems. Methods so obscure that while I am able to derive them, and have even seen how they might be useful, I've seen too many people too confused over what they mean (usually nothing, they're just a method). Instead of class, I had a chat about how social skills, specifically, the lack of them.
When I got to my room, there were beer cans on the floor, loud music, and my room mate dressed up like Rick James, dancing to the cheers of some floor mates. I talked with my Australian friend before heading to chem.
Chemistry is one class that, no matter how little extra is taught in class as opposed to in the book, and no matter how many times I fall asleep trying to pay attention, I will not miss. That is because it is a class in which I admit that I am not up to date, and probably never will be. I arrived early, fell asleep during, but still caught some glimpse of understanding, I hope.
From the end of chem onwards, I went back to rez, talked, went for supper, and then tried to get some work done. I failed.
My first failure was not getting the last question of an online assignment in on time. It was easy and doable, I was just distracted until two hours to late (my first incomplete assignment in that course). I then started writing code for a rebellious program that would combine all my other programs and functions. I found myself also doing dishes in our lounge, cleaning up after someone's haircut (he went from shoulder length to about two inches), and helping another friend with his Joker costume. It was creepy, very creepy. He had a good laugh and voice for it too. I then had to humour a drunk guy who was visiting where he had lived last year (guess where). My room.
By the time all this was done, I had given up on homework. I dressed up as a ninja and headed out with a group of friends. We walked around, creeping people out (my sneaking creeped out more people than anything the Joker tried). We found a few dead parties and lots of groups of oddly dressed people. Pikachu, Pooh, Mario and Luigi, robots, ginger bread and more. It was early for a Friday when we decided nothing else of interest would happen. That's when a Residence Adviser (RA) walked out and asked us if we had seen my room mate. I did a quick (running) round of the residence asking if anyone had seen him. When I got back to my room, I found out why.
My room mate was drunk. Well not just drunk, hammered, shit-faced, smashed and any other descriptor of heavy inebriation and intoxication you can think of. He was standing, but in a way that only caused more worry. An RA was pulling him upward every now and again while trying to get it though his head to stay in his room. I stayed with them, as he wandered away, saying something about a party (all the ones I knew of were long over) before he shot down the stairs.
We (the RA and I) followed him down. Another RA (from my floor) was talking to someone on the main floor. She took a shot at talking sense into him and we got him into the elevator and into his room. He collapsed a few times, we warned him about ending up in the drunk tank, hell, he even asked to go. We got him into his room, we set him up on the floor (a fall from his bed would be bad, and he would fall), the RA gave me a few last words of how to get help, and she left. I bolted the door, considered physically blocking it, then sat down and watch.
He wasn't able to stay still for a moment. He was constantly moving around, out of his blanket, towards the door, into my closet, under his bed, anywhere within reach of a man who can't fall asleep and can't get up. He even stood a few times and made a dash for the door. He got it open before I caught him and put him down gently.
Since then he's fallen into what I hope is sleep. He's had instances where I couldn't hear him breathing, other times when he wouldn't breath without stimulus, and he's even thrown up (probably a good thing) on our floor (not so much), but I managed to flip him over, and while into the mess, away from the possibility of choking on it. He's now snoring loudly. It's now three of the clock and I've given up on hope of sleep. I don't want anything bad happening on my watch, and a long watch it's going to be.
To end on a better note, here's a shot of my Australian friend, the Joker and his girlfriend Poison Ivy.
*I'm going by subjective time, in which morning is the few hours after waking, night is the time when sleep would be a good idea, and day is the in between.
This morning* barely started at all. My alarm went off, but it was still dark out. Seven is not a good time to wake up if you're looking for sunshine. It almost never is. I've found that the sun often rises shortly after six, sometimes as late as eight, an on occasion, as early as five, but seven is a no show.
I disabled my alarm and snuggled back into place, but soon the sky lightened to only dark gray, like dull gunmetal, and my room mate started to get ready. I left it until seven thirty to actually bother lifting myself up and dropping down out of bed. I was still dressed from yesterday and still as unshowered and unkempt as two days before, but I decided I was as ready as I could get before class.
I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. I didn't have enough time fror breakfast, maybe a snack, but there was no point in chancing it. I headed straight for my tutorial, throught the parking lot, up the back alley stairs, across East Mall, through Kaiser, and past the Cheeze. pausing breifly to joke with myself as to whether that was really a man dressed as the bunny from Danny Darko or whether I was in rough enough shape to be hallucinating. I made it to the lab with time to spare. My friend was already there, sitting in the seat beside mine. I share every class (that I attend) with him, and we were going to try some of our impossible physics questions.
The tutorial started. I paid some attention as I fiddled away on the lab's computer. Programming is easy, at least, once you get the concepts, understand some mathematical background, and know where to look for problems. I excel at it, I finish all our assignments first, and then spend most of the lab time fooling around. Today was a prime example. I was done out hour and a half long assignment in probably less than fifteen minutes, I could have done it faster, but then I started building an interface. Nothing special, it simply greeted the user, asked them what they wanted to do, asked for some numbers and printed the answers, and kept going until told to quit, at which point it would say the cliche, "Have a nice day!" before closing. The teacher's assistant seemed annoyed by the amount of extra (and to be honest, useless) code I'd written in. I was just biding time until my friend was done.
When it was over, we headed for the PPPP (first-year engineering study lounge) to work on some physics. Then when we got bored and hungry, we went to the Student Union Building (SUB) for some breakfast. We talked and ate until it was time for math, which I usually skip, but he convinced me otherwise. And he turned out to be right. I was startled to find them working on new material. I paid attention, picking up what I could and looking up how much further we had gotten in the book. I wasn't afraid of falling behind, but it's nice to know where I was expected to be.
Next was thermodynamics. We were working on entropy, learning new concepts on the fly (not having had the time to read ahead), and completing all the work we were given without too much trouble.
Then I headed back to rez with another friend during my vectors class. The teacher has even said that if we can do the work, that coming to class isn't necessary. I keep up with the work, and what little else the teacher teaches is obscure mathematical methods to solving force problems. Methods so obscure that while I am able to derive them, and have even seen how they might be useful, I've seen too many people too confused over what they mean (usually nothing, they're just a method). Instead of class, I had a chat about how social skills, specifically, the lack of them.
When I got to my room, there were beer cans on the floor, loud music, and my room mate dressed up like Rick James, dancing to the cheers of some floor mates. I talked with my Australian friend before heading to chem.
Chemistry is one class that, no matter how little extra is taught in class as opposed to in the book, and no matter how many times I fall asleep trying to pay attention, I will not miss. That is because it is a class in which I admit that I am not up to date, and probably never will be. I arrived early, fell asleep during, but still caught some glimpse of understanding, I hope.
From the end of chem onwards, I went back to rez, talked, went for supper, and then tried to get some work done. I failed.
My first failure was not getting the last question of an online assignment in on time. It was easy and doable, I was just distracted until two hours to late (my first incomplete assignment in that course). I then started writing code for a rebellious program that would combine all my other programs and functions. I found myself also doing dishes in our lounge, cleaning up after someone's haircut (he went from shoulder length to about two inches), and helping another friend with his Joker costume. It was creepy, very creepy. He had a good laugh and voice for it too. I then had to humour a drunk guy who was visiting where he had lived last year (guess where). My room.
By the time all this was done, I had given up on homework. I dressed up as a ninja and headed out with a group of friends. We walked around, creeping people out (my sneaking creeped out more people than anything the Joker tried). We found a few dead parties and lots of groups of oddly dressed people. Pikachu, Pooh, Mario and Luigi, robots, ginger bread and more. It was early for a Friday when we decided nothing else of interest would happen. That's when a Residence Adviser (RA) walked out and asked us if we had seen my room mate. I did a quick (running) round of the residence asking if anyone had seen him. When I got back to my room, I found out why.
My room mate was drunk. Well not just drunk, hammered, shit-faced, smashed and any other descriptor of heavy inebriation and intoxication you can think of. He was standing, but in a way that only caused more worry. An RA was pulling him upward every now and again while trying to get it though his head to stay in his room. I stayed with them, as he wandered away, saying something about a party (all the ones I knew of were long over) before he shot down the stairs.
We (the RA and I) followed him down. Another RA (from my floor) was talking to someone on the main floor. She took a shot at talking sense into him and we got him into the elevator and into his room. He collapsed a few times, we warned him about ending up in the drunk tank, hell, he even asked to go. We got him into his room, we set him up on the floor (a fall from his bed would be bad, and he would fall), the RA gave me a few last words of how to get help, and she left. I bolted the door, considered physically blocking it, then sat down and watch.
He wasn't able to stay still for a moment. He was constantly moving around, out of his blanket, towards the door, into my closet, under his bed, anywhere within reach of a man who can't fall asleep and can't get up. He even stood a few times and made a dash for the door. He got it open before I caught him and put him down gently.
Since then he's fallen into what I hope is sleep. He's had instances where I couldn't hear him breathing, other times when he wouldn't breath without stimulus, and he's even thrown up (probably a good thing) on our floor (not so much), but I managed to flip him over, and while into the mess, away from the possibility of choking on it. He's now snoring loudly. It's now three of the clock and I've given up on hope of sleep. I don't want anything bad happening on my watch, and a long watch it's going to be.
To end on a better note, here's a shot of my Australian friend, the Joker and his girlfriend Poison Ivy.
*I'm going by subjective time, in which morning is the few hours after waking, night is the time when sleep would be a good idea, and day is the in between.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Too much too fast to keep up
Stuff happens fast at university. I can't over emphasize this. Take any instance of my present life, like last night: there's a game going on on rez where we're given a name and have to hunt that person down and hit them with a sock. There are safe zones and safe places. I've been one of the most active players. The first night, I found out that my target was headed out to a bar without a safety item. I waited about three hours for him to come home. I've kept my safety item with me the whole time, not even taking it off for sleep or showers (I hang it up inside the shower, just outside of the spray).
Last night, my second and third targets were headed into town for a party. I heard them making plans, making a truce and knew about the party. I tried to tail them, but lost sight of them when they left rez. I ran to the bus stop to cut them off, failed to find them, and headed back to rez. On my way back I contemplated quitting the game by letting my "assassin" (known to me, not a common thing) get me. I decided it would hinge on that night and made plans to wait for them to come back. When I got back, I realized that it would be easier and faster to simply go to the party and get them there, an "asshole"ish move, but I have no trouble with unconventional tactics. I dressed for the bar and for my purpose, not to be noticed (easy with my largely neutral wardrobe of grays, blues, blacks, and browns). I removed the safety item (this week's being a bright red t-shirt) knowing that my assassin was gone for the day and not at the party. Then finding the bar was easy.
I got there using Google maps and my bus pass. It was a bar, half the size of the Capri and twice as nice. By that time (one of the clock) they didn't bother me with cover, I walked right in after showing someone my identification. I walked in, slowly around the quieter parts, avoiding the dance floor where I'd stand out and the lights where I might be recognized, and spotted my target. I got him, his face total shock twisted to look like amusement, then the girl behind me took notice and scrambled. I got her right there, but she didn't notice and went for her bag where they kept a safety item. I walked over slowly, noticing her trouble with the zipper, and tapped her again. She was furious (hell hath no fury like a woman scorn), and also shocked, but more so in hate. I stayed for a few minutes before I realized that I was too sober for this at this time in the morning and could put my time to better use back at rez and asleep.
There've been all sorts of things happening, like colour wars, where all the houses in Totem (my place of residence) wore colours of with houses and competed to prove their worth. We might not have been the best, but we were the most enthusiastic. Two hours, a shower, change of clothes, bus ride, and long walk later, I was at my sisters wedding with a white shirt and tie, and red face paint still refusing to remove itself entirely from my hands. Another time, my floor and another from our building went into town for supper. There I build a straw so long that it reached across the table, and eventually, to the other table. It was taller than me and hitting the ceiling fan before long. I also piled up all the heavy spice containers on self-supporting knives held up on glasses. But those are only a few of my days, and nights. We've had nights of stealing chairs from other floors for our decked out floor lounge, nights where local street signs and advertisements end up mysteriously in that same floor lounge. There are nights I've spent studying, nights I've spent watching movies, nights I've spent at parties, nights I've spent getting close to girls*, nights I've spent tutoring, nights I've spent waiting for sleep and night that have simply been another night.
Right now, I'm in the middle of studying for chemistry, for which I have a midterm this week. Myself and a few friends find this class the most difficult due. Partly because the teacher, while entertaining and far from monotone, puts the class to sleep faster than a mother's lullaby (or a bottle of chloroform), and partly because there's no incentive for doing work or question for his course, the only points come from the labs and the exams. It may therefore seem stupid to put off studying, but when you have several other classes asking for pages of concepts and calculations on a weekly basis, what doesn't ask for attention doesn't get it. I've always had a grudge against chemistry because, while central and highly useful for science, it is not as directly mathematical or logical as physics, and while I often grasp concepts easily, there are so many different ideas, concepts, and exceptions that it is hard to keep track of them all. This is made especially true from the fact that these concepts and exceptions are difficult to derive from others. I think a few of us are getting our white flags ready for this exam.
I am getting better at studying, unfortunately I'm also getting exponentially worse at time management (actually, this isn't entirely true, but once you loose you're grasp of time, you have no way of determining how quickly you're getting worse at it, time being the independent variable). I keep getting caught up in conversations with floormates, engineers, and fellow students. We talk endlessly of technology, space elevators, archologies, genetic engineering, technological enhancement (cyberization), artificial intelligence, video games, strategy, mathematics, girls (which should be a bit higher on the list, but not by much), cetera, et cetera. I've almost given up entirely on video games, playing about a match a week on Starcraft II, and usually just against a computer opponent. I also listen to audiobooks almost non-stop. Mostly science fiction. It fills any silence I can find and helps me get to sleep when my room mate sleep less quietly. I'm not even sure where some of my time goes. I caught myself saying yesterday that we had been in university for a few weeks, when it's been well over a month, almost two. I feel like Tartarus, only his water is my time.
I've also started taking more control of my diet, though I'm not sure whether it's for better or worse. I bought a rice cooker, having lived in Japan and learned to love eating plain white rice. The cooker cost ten dollars, and rice is two to four dollars a kilo (for comparison's sake, potato chips at the corner store cost about fifteen dollars a kilo). I'm eating apples, oranges, bananas, drinking more water than I ever did soft drinks or any drink, I just started drinking apple juice, and the daily snack. I'm not sure if I've lost any weight (though there were a few days when I could go one notch more on my belt), but I doubt I've gain much if any (despite "freshman fifteen"). I'm a bit worried about my diet, but I'm not dead yet. Also, for all of you at Boston Pizza, I wish I could walk in the front doors and sit down with friends. I would talk with those still on shift, doing roll-ups while I waited for my self-made pizza to get though the oven, and stay until enough friends are off shift to get hammered. Sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name, and their always glad you came.
Speaking of which, I have yet to decide my plans for Christmas. I know that many people expect I'll be home-... ...back in Sydney for the holidays, but I have yet to make up my own mind. I'm keeping that in mind as I look to see what's going on with who in Vancouver. Rez closes, which cuts off staying here, but I'm still looking into other options. I'm also factoring in price for if I were to come back. It'd take a hundred and forty hours of work to pay off the airplane tickets. I know it might not be mine to pay, but that's not how I'm looking at it. I'll tell more when I figure it out for myself.
Weather here isn't so bad. We have lots of overcast, common rain, but enough blue in the sky with some sun to offset it all. The rain has yet to be torrential and I'll be ready when it is. Vancouver is a nice city when I can spare the (non-existent) time to ride in. UBC itself is nice, and large, but I feel that there's still a difference from this and real life. There're places to eat, places to go, bars, nightlife, traffic, people, business, work, scenery, and a large enough population to be it's own large town, but life here seems like one step the the left of normal. It might just be the overload of academia.
Other than that I'm fine. I'm living, eating, breathing, thinking, reading, processing, learning, working, writing, calculating, analyzing, listening, saying, speaking, conversing, interacting, socializing, partying, drinking, dancing, playing, acting, dreaming, sleeping, and hoping. I'm still alive.
* I'll add that they were spent getting closer to girls in a manner similar to that of mathematical limits; always approaching, never reaching.
Last night, my second and third targets were headed into town for a party. I heard them making plans, making a truce and knew about the party. I tried to tail them, but lost sight of them when they left rez. I ran to the bus stop to cut them off, failed to find them, and headed back to rez. On my way back I contemplated quitting the game by letting my "assassin" (known to me, not a common thing) get me. I decided it would hinge on that night and made plans to wait for them to come back. When I got back, I realized that it would be easier and faster to simply go to the party and get them there, an "asshole"ish move, but I have no trouble with unconventional tactics. I dressed for the bar and for my purpose, not to be noticed (easy with my largely neutral wardrobe of grays, blues, blacks, and browns). I removed the safety item (this week's being a bright red t-shirt) knowing that my assassin was gone for the day and not at the party. Then finding the bar was easy.
I got there using Google maps and my bus pass. It was a bar, half the size of the Capri and twice as nice. By that time (one of the clock) they didn't bother me with cover, I walked right in after showing someone my identification. I walked in, slowly around the quieter parts, avoiding the dance floor where I'd stand out and the lights where I might be recognized, and spotted my target. I got him, his face total shock twisted to look like amusement, then the girl behind me took notice and scrambled. I got her right there, but she didn't notice and went for her bag where they kept a safety item. I walked over slowly, noticing her trouble with the zipper, and tapped her again. She was furious (hell hath no fury like a woman scorn), and also shocked, but more so in hate. I stayed for a few minutes before I realized that I was too sober for this at this time in the morning and could put my time to better use back at rez and asleep.
There've been all sorts of things happening, like colour wars, where all the houses in Totem (my place of residence) wore colours of with houses and competed to prove their worth. We might not have been the best, but we were the most enthusiastic. Two hours, a shower, change of clothes, bus ride, and long walk later, I was at my sisters wedding with a white shirt and tie, and red face paint still refusing to remove itself entirely from my hands. Another time, my floor and another from our building went into town for supper. There I build a straw so long that it reached across the table, and eventually, to the other table. It was taller than me and hitting the ceiling fan before long. I also piled up all the heavy spice containers on self-supporting knives held up on glasses. But those are only a few of my days, and nights. We've had nights of stealing chairs from other floors for our decked out floor lounge, nights where local street signs and advertisements end up mysteriously in that same floor lounge. There are nights I've spent studying, nights I've spent watching movies, nights I've spent at parties, nights I've spent getting close to girls*, nights I've spent tutoring, nights I've spent waiting for sleep and night that have simply been another night.
Right now, I'm in the middle of studying for chemistry, for which I have a midterm this week. Myself and a few friends find this class the most difficult due. Partly because the teacher, while entertaining and far from monotone, puts the class to sleep faster than a mother's lullaby (or a bottle of chloroform), and partly because there's no incentive for doing work or question for his course, the only points come from the labs and the exams. It may therefore seem stupid to put off studying, but when you have several other classes asking for pages of concepts and calculations on a weekly basis, what doesn't ask for attention doesn't get it. I've always had a grudge against chemistry because, while central and highly useful for science, it is not as directly mathematical or logical as physics, and while I often grasp concepts easily, there are so many different ideas, concepts, and exceptions that it is hard to keep track of them all. This is made especially true from the fact that these concepts and exceptions are difficult to derive from others. I think a few of us are getting our white flags ready for this exam.
I am getting better at studying, unfortunately I'm also getting exponentially worse at time management (actually, this isn't entirely true, but once you loose you're grasp of time, you have no way of determining how quickly you're getting worse at it, time being the independent variable). I keep getting caught up in conversations with floormates, engineers, and fellow students. We talk endlessly of technology, space elevators, archologies, genetic engineering, technological enhancement (cyberization), artificial intelligence, video games, strategy, mathematics, girls (which should be a bit higher on the list, but not by much), cetera, et cetera. I've almost given up entirely on video games, playing about a match a week on Starcraft II, and usually just against a computer opponent. I also listen to audiobooks almost non-stop. Mostly science fiction. It fills any silence I can find and helps me get to sleep when my room mate sleep less quietly. I'm not even sure where some of my time goes. I caught myself saying yesterday that we had been in university for a few weeks, when it's been well over a month, almost two. I feel like Tartarus, only his water is my time.
I've also started taking more control of my diet, though I'm not sure whether it's for better or worse. I bought a rice cooker, having lived in Japan and learned to love eating plain white rice. The cooker cost ten dollars, and rice is two to four dollars a kilo (for comparison's sake, potato chips at the corner store cost about fifteen dollars a kilo). I'm eating apples, oranges, bananas, drinking more water than I ever did soft drinks or any drink, I just started drinking apple juice, and the daily snack. I'm not sure if I've lost any weight (though there were a few days when I could go one notch more on my belt), but I doubt I've gain much if any (despite "freshman fifteen"). I'm a bit worried about my diet, but I'm not dead yet. Also, for all of you at Boston Pizza, I wish I could walk in the front doors and sit down with friends. I would talk with those still on shift, doing roll-ups while I waited for my self-made pizza to get though the oven, and stay until enough friends are off shift to get hammered. Sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name, and their always glad you came.
Speaking of which, I have yet to decide my plans for Christmas. I know that many people expect I'll be home-... ...back in Sydney for the holidays, but I have yet to make up my own mind. I'm keeping that in mind as I look to see what's going on with who in Vancouver. Rez closes, which cuts off staying here, but I'm still looking into other options. I'm also factoring in price for if I were to come back. It'd take a hundred and forty hours of work to pay off the airplane tickets. I know it might not be mine to pay, but that's not how I'm looking at it. I'll tell more when I figure it out for myself.
Weather here isn't so bad. We have lots of overcast, common rain, but enough blue in the sky with some sun to offset it all. The rain has yet to be torrential and I'll be ready when it is. Vancouver is a nice city when I can spare the (non-existent) time to ride in. UBC itself is nice, and large, but I feel that there's still a difference from this and real life. There're places to eat, places to go, bars, nightlife, traffic, people, business, work, scenery, and a large enough population to be it's own large town, but life here seems like one step the the left of normal. It might just be the overload of academia.
Other than that I'm fine. I'm living, eating, breathing, thinking, reading, processing, learning, working, writing, calculating, analyzing, listening, saying, speaking, conversing, interacting, socializing, partying, drinking, dancing, playing, acting, dreaming, sleeping, and hoping. I'm still alive.
* I'll add that they were spent getting closer to girls in a manner similar to that of mathematical limits; always approaching, never reaching.
University Pictures
How to make bus boy's job a heck of a lot harder.
The straw.
Colour wars.
Work hard, play hard.
How to dress a straight guy.
My desk from an odd angle. Oops.
Local cafeteria convenience store.
The endless stairs I climb endlessly up and down the floors of Shu.
Shuswap, in Totem, I live on floor five (Shu5).
Some over excited "ENGINEERS".
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