If you are not the cause of something, but could have prevented it, are you responsible for the consequences?
After last night (the night after my previous entry), this is a question that is bothering me. The answer, as usual, depends on your definitions, in this case of responsible. It depends on if we're considered accountable or answerable for only that which we cause directly, or if we're also answerable or accountable for that which is within our ability.
Last night, I wanted to study. Unfortunately, once again, I was distracted. This time it was by a costume I got from a girl on third floor (who, in case of future reference, is friendly, hot, and Asian). She gave me a mini-fridge box, which I quickly found my way into, finding cracks out of which to see and finding new ways of walking (even using my PSP as a para-scope). I then got down to doing my math homework while watching Silent Running, an old, well done, science fiction movie about the last garden of Earth, ironically in space. I then found a mathematical formula (y^(2n)+x^2n=c where cER and nEN) that shows the transformation of a circle into a square, and I tried deriving the inverse of a circle, but none of my calculators could properly display it (n<0, nEZ). I then realized what time it was (one of the morning) and headed back to my room for sleep.
I didn't try sleeping right away, instead I tried building up to it by watching another movie to relax, Toy Story 3. I was twenty minutes in before someone walked in, then out. I Turned off the movie and the computer and decided to go straight for sleep (as opposed to watching my movie interrupted). This failed when a few moments later when my room mate burst in, drunk, again. A few others from my floor were trying to get him into bed. Knowing what I knew of last night, I encouraged them, but didn't bother to help what I considered futile. The night before he had not tried sleep until he was unable to do anything else. The same applied last night. When they thought they had him in, he jumped out. We got him in and I moved my dresser in front on the door. He pulled it aside without trouble or hesitation (I don't count initially failing to recognized that the door is blocked to be hesitation). From that point on, we gave up trying to stop him.
He ran around the floor a few times, he stumbled around, smashed his head against the wall, and then he started. He started tearing down posters and fliers from the walls and from people's doors. He was making a mess of whatever he could find. He took a vinyl record (used as a decoration on someones door) and threw it like a Frisbee. It shattered and came close to hitting us. I took down my posters and gave them to a friend for safe keeping for the night. He tried again and again to play his music loudly, and shouted when we took his iPod from him until we gave it back (he was never able to actually get the music playing, thankfully). He made a mess of his room, almost breaking a few of his possessions and treating his stuff like trash. Eventually we called an advisor, and moments before she showed up, he quieted down and stayed in his room. I left him on his own, this was more than I wanted and more than I was responsible for. I took up an offer to sleep in someone else's room on the floor.
But that night, before I fell asleep, three ideas went through my head. The first was visualization and a metaphor of life that I came up with as a make-think project to relax. The second was the thought of being in the same state as my room mate. I shivered until I stopped thinking about it. I would hope that someone would stop me if that ever happened. And that lead to my third thought, should someone stop someone else. Should I have stopped him from tearing everything up. If I envoke the golden rule, then yes, but that conflicts with my non-impediment principle (id est, let people do what they want so long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else). I felt selfish for protecting my own posters and stuff while not stopping him from tearing others' to pieces. I'm still to conflicted to solve these and I find the whole matter unsettling.
Well, hopefully I'll find solace and an answer, but right now I need to get my homework done.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Long Night
Tonight is going to be a long night, and it was supposed to be so simple. But day comes before night, and morning before day, so I'll start there.
This morning* barely started at all. My alarm went off, but it was still dark out. Seven is not a good time to wake up if you're looking for sunshine. It almost never is. I've found that the sun often rises shortly after six, sometimes as late as eight, an on occasion, as early as five, but seven is a no show.
I disabled my alarm and snuggled back into place, but soon the sky lightened to only dark gray, like dull gunmetal, and my room mate started to get ready. I left it until seven thirty to actually bother lifting myself up and dropping down out of bed. I was still dressed from yesterday and still as unshowered and unkempt as two days before, but I decided I was as ready as I could get before class.
I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. I didn't have enough time fror breakfast, maybe a snack, but there was no point in chancing it. I headed straight for my tutorial, throught the parking lot, up the back alley stairs, across East Mall, through Kaiser, and past the Cheeze. pausing breifly to joke with myself as to whether that was really a man dressed as the bunny from Danny Darko or whether I was in rough enough shape to be hallucinating. I made it to the lab with time to spare. My friend was already there, sitting in the seat beside mine. I share every class (that I attend) with him, and we were going to try some of our impossible physics questions.
The tutorial started. I paid some attention as I fiddled away on the lab's computer. Programming is easy, at least, once you get the concepts, understand some mathematical background, and know where to look for problems. I excel at it, I finish all our assignments first, and then spend most of the lab time fooling around. Today was a prime example. I was done out hour and a half long assignment in probably less than fifteen minutes, I could have done it faster, but then I started building an interface. Nothing special, it simply greeted the user, asked them what they wanted to do, asked for some numbers and printed the answers, and kept going until told to quit, at which point it would say the cliche, "Have a nice day!" before closing. The teacher's assistant seemed annoyed by the amount of extra (and to be honest, useless) code I'd written in. I was just biding time until my friend was done.
When it was over, we headed for the PPPP (first-year engineering study lounge) to work on some physics. Then when we got bored and hungry, we went to the Student Union Building (SUB) for some breakfast. We talked and ate until it was time for math, which I usually skip, but he convinced me otherwise. And he turned out to be right. I was startled to find them working on new material. I paid attention, picking up what I could and looking up how much further we had gotten in the book. I wasn't afraid of falling behind, but it's nice to know where I was expected to be.
Next was thermodynamics. We were working on entropy, learning new concepts on the fly (not having had the time to read ahead), and completing all the work we were given without too much trouble.
Then I headed back to rez with another friend during my vectors class. The teacher has even said that if we can do the work, that coming to class isn't necessary. I keep up with the work, and what little else the teacher teaches is obscure mathematical methods to solving force problems. Methods so obscure that while I am able to derive them, and have even seen how they might be useful, I've seen too many people too confused over what they mean (usually nothing, they're just a method). Instead of class, I had a chat about how social skills, specifically, the lack of them.
When I got to my room, there were beer cans on the floor, loud music, and my room mate dressed up like Rick James, dancing to the cheers of some floor mates. I talked with my Australian friend before heading to chem.
Chemistry is one class that, no matter how little extra is taught in class as opposed to in the book, and no matter how many times I fall asleep trying to pay attention, I will not miss. That is because it is a class in which I admit that I am not up to date, and probably never will be. I arrived early, fell asleep during, but still caught some glimpse of understanding, I hope.
From the end of chem onwards, I went back to rez, talked, went for supper, and then tried to get some work done. I failed.
My first failure was not getting the last question of an online assignment in on time. It was easy and doable, I was just distracted until two hours to late (my first incomplete assignment in that course). I then started writing code for a rebellious program that would combine all my other programs and functions. I found myself also doing dishes in our lounge, cleaning up after someone's haircut (he went from shoulder length to about two inches), and helping another friend with his Joker costume. It was creepy, very creepy. He had a good laugh and voice for it too. I then had to humour a drunk guy who was visiting where he had lived last year (guess where). My room.
By the time all this was done, I had given up on homework. I dressed up as a ninja and headed out with a group of friends. We walked around, creeping people out (my sneaking creeped out more people than anything the Joker tried). We found a few dead parties and lots of groups of oddly dressed people. Pikachu, Pooh, Mario and Luigi, robots, ginger bread and more. It was early for a Friday when we decided nothing else of interest would happen. That's when a Residence Adviser (RA) walked out and asked us if we had seen my room mate. I did a quick (running) round of the residence asking if anyone had seen him. When I got back to my room, I found out why.
My room mate was drunk. Well not just drunk, hammered, shit-faced, smashed and any other descriptor of heavy inebriation and intoxication you can think of. He was standing, but in a way that only caused more worry. An RA was pulling him upward every now and again while trying to get it though his head to stay in his room. I stayed with them, as he wandered away, saying something about a party (all the ones I knew of were long over) before he shot down the stairs.
We (the RA and I) followed him down. Another RA (from my floor) was talking to someone on the main floor. She took a shot at talking sense into him and we got him into the elevator and into his room. He collapsed a few times, we warned him about ending up in the drunk tank, hell, he even asked to go. We got him into his room, we set him up on the floor (a fall from his bed would be bad, and he would fall), the RA gave me a few last words of how to get help, and she left. I bolted the door, considered physically blocking it, then sat down and watch.
He wasn't able to stay still for a moment. He was constantly moving around, out of his blanket, towards the door, into my closet, under his bed, anywhere within reach of a man who can't fall asleep and can't get up. He even stood a few times and made a dash for the door. He got it open before I caught him and put him down gently.
Since then he's fallen into what I hope is sleep. He's had instances where I couldn't hear him breathing, other times when he wouldn't breath without stimulus, and he's even thrown up (probably a good thing) on our floor (not so much), but I managed to flip him over, and while into the mess, away from the possibility of choking on it. He's now snoring loudly. It's now three of the clock and I've given up on hope of sleep. I don't want anything bad happening on my watch, and a long watch it's going to be.
To end on a better note, here's a shot of my Australian friend, the Joker and his girlfriend Poison Ivy.
*I'm going by subjective time, in which morning is the few hours after waking, night is the time when sleep would be a good idea, and day is the in between.
This morning* barely started at all. My alarm went off, but it was still dark out. Seven is not a good time to wake up if you're looking for sunshine. It almost never is. I've found that the sun often rises shortly after six, sometimes as late as eight, an on occasion, as early as five, but seven is a no show.
I disabled my alarm and snuggled back into place, but soon the sky lightened to only dark gray, like dull gunmetal, and my room mate started to get ready. I left it until seven thirty to actually bother lifting myself up and dropping down out of bed. I was still dressed from yesterday and still as unshowered and unkempt as two days before, but I decided I was as ready as I could get before class.
I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. I didn't have enough time fror breakfast, maybe a snack, but there was no point in chancing it. I headed straight for my tutorial, throught the parking lot, up the back alley stairs, across East Mall, through Kaiser, and past the Cheeze. pausing breifly to joke with myself as to whether that was really a man dressed as the bunny from Danny Darko or whether I was in rough enough shape to be hallucinating. I made it to the lab with time to spare. My friend was already there, sitting in the seat beside mine. I share every class (that I attend) with him, and we were going to try some of our impossible physics questions.
The tutorial started. I paid some attention as I fiddled away on the lab's computer. Programming is easy, at least, once you get the concepts, understand some mathematical background, and know where to look for problems. I excel at it, I finish all our assignments first, and then spend most of the lab time fooling around. Today was a prime example. I was done out hour and a half long assignment in probably less than fifteen minutes, I could have done it faster, but then I started building an interface. Nothing special, it simply greeted the user, asked them what they wanted to do, asked for some numbers and printed the answers, and kept going until told to quit, at which point it would say the cliche, "Have a nice day!" before closing. The teacher's assistant seemed annoyed by the amount of extra (and to be honest, useless) code I'd written in. I was just biding time until my friend was done.
When it was over, we headed for the PPPP (first-year engineering study lounge) to work on some physics. Then when we got bored and hungry, we went to the Student Union Building (SUB) for some breakfast. We talked and ate until it was time for math, which I usually skip, but he convinced me otherwise. And he turned out to be right. I was startled to find them working on new material. I paid attention, picking up what I could and looking up how much further we had gotten in the book. I wasn't afraid of falling behind, but it's nice to know where I was expected to be.
Next was thermodynamics. We were working on entropy, learning new concepts on the fly (not having had the time to read ahead), and completing all the work we were given without too much trouble.
Then I headed back to rez with another friend during my vectors class. The teacher has even said that if we can do the work, that coming to class isn't necessary. I keep up with the work, and what little else the teacher teaches is obscure mathematical methods to solving force problems. Methods so obscure that while I am able to derive them, and have even seen how they might be useful, I've seen too many people too confused over what they mean (usually nothing, they're just a method). Instead of class, I had a chat about how social skills, specifically, the lack of them.
When I got to my room, there were beer cans on the floor, loud music, and my room mate dressed up like Rick James, dancing to the cheers of some floor mates. I talked with my Australian friend before heading to chem.
Chemistry is one class that, no matter how little extra is taught in class as opposed to in the book, and no matter how many times I fall asleep trying to pay attention, I will not miss. That is because it is a class in which I admit that I am not up to date, and probably never will be. I arrived early, fell asleep during, but still caught some glimpse of understanding, I hope.
From the end of chem onwards, I went back to rez, talked, went for supper, and then tried to get some work done. I failed.
My first failure was not getting the last question of an online assignment in on time. It was easy and doable, I was just distracted until two hours to late (my first incomplete assignment in that course). I then started writing code for a rebellious program that would combine all my other programs and functions. I found myself also doing dishes in our lounge, cleaning up after someone's haircut (he went from shoulder length to about two inches), and helping another friend with his Joker costume. It was creepy, very creepy. He had a good laugh and voice for it too. I then had to humour a drunk guy who was visiting where he had lived last year (guess where). My room.
By the time all this was done, I had given up on homework. I dressed up as a ninja and headed out with a group of friends. We walked around, creeping people out (my sneaking creeped out more people than anything the Joker tried). We found a few dead parties and lots of groups of oddly dressed people. Pikachu, Pooh, Mario and Luigi, robots, ginger bread and more. It was early for a Friday when we decided nothing else of interest would happen. That's when a Residence Adviser (RA) walked out and asked us if we had seen my room mate. I did a quick (running) round of the residence asking if anyone had seen him. When I got back to my room, I found out why.
My room mate was drunk. Well not just drunk, hammered, shit-faced, smashed and any other descriptor of heavy inebriation and intoxication you can think of. He was standing, but in a way that only caused more worry. An RA was pulling him upward every now and again while trying to get it though his head to stay in his room. I stayed with them, as he wandered away, saying something about a party (all the ones I knew of were long over) before he shot down the stairs.
We (the RA and I) followed him down. Another RA (from my floor) was talking to someone on the main floor. She took a shot at talking sense into him and we got him into the elevator and into his room. He collapsed a few times, we warned him about ending up in the drunk tank, hell, he even asked to go. We got him into his room, we set him up on the floor (a fall from his bed would be bad, and he would fall), the RA gave me a few last words of how to get help, and she left. I bolted the door, considered physically blocking it, then sat down and watch.
He wasn't able to stay still for a moment. He was constantly moving around, out of his blanket, towards the door, into my closet, under his bed, anywhere within reach of a man who can't fall asleep and can't get up. He even stood a few times and made a dash for the door. He got it open before I caught him and put him down gently.
Since then he's fallen into what I hope is sleep. He's had instances where I couldn't hear him breathing, other times when he wouldn't breath without stimulus, and he's even thrown up (probably a good thing) on our floor (not so much), but I managed to flip him over, and while into the mess, away from the possibility of choking on it. He's now snoring loudly. It's now three of the clock and I've given up on hope of sleep. I don't want anything bad happening on my watch, and a long watch it's going to be.
To end on a better note, here's a shot of my Australian friend, the Joker and his girlfriend Poison Ivy.
*I'm going by subjective time, in which morning is the few hours after waking, night is the time when sleep would be a good idea, and day is the in between.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Too much too fast to keep up
Stuff happens fast at university. I can't over emphasize this. Take any instance of my present life, like last night: there's a game going on on rez where we're given a name and have to hunt that person down and hit them with a sock. There are safe zones and safe places. I've been one of the most active players. The first night, I found out that my target was headed out to a bar without a safety item. I waited about three hours for him to come home. I've kept my safety item with me the whole time, not even taking it off for sleep or showers (I hang it up inside the shower, just outside of the spray).
Last night, my second and third targets were headed into town for a party. I heard them making plans, making a truce and knew about the party. I tried to tail them, but lost sight of them when they left rez. I ran to the bus stop to cut them off, failed to find them, and headed back to rez. On my way back I contemplated quitting the game by letting my "assassin" (known to me, not a common thing) get me. I decided it would hinge on that night and made plans to wait for them to come back. When I got back, I realized that it would be easier and faster to simply go to the party and get them there, an "asshole"ish move, but I have no trouble with unconventional tactics. I dressed for the bar and for my purpose, not to be noticed (easy with my largely neutral wardrobe of grays, blues, blacks, and browns). I removed the safety item (this week's being a bright red t-shirt) knowing that my assassin was gone for the day and not at the party. Then finding the bar was easy.
I got there using Google maps and my bus pass. It was a bar, half the size of the Capri and twice as nice. By that time (one of the clock) they didn't bother me with cover, I walked right in after showing someone my identification. I walked in, slowly around the quieter parts, avoiding the dance floor where I'd stand out and the lights where I might be recognized, and spotted my target. I got him, his face total shock twisted to look like amusement, then the girl behind me took notice and scrambled. I got her right there, but she didn't notice and went for her bag where they kept a safety item. I walked over slowly, noticing her trouble with the zipper, and tapped her again. She was furious (hell hath no fury like a woman scorn), and also shocked, but more so in hate. I stayed for a few minutes before I realized that I was too sober for this at this time in the morning and could put my time to better use back at rez and asleep.
There've been all sorts of things happening, like colour wars, where all the houses in Totem (my place of residence) wore colours of with houses and competed to prove their worth. We might not have been the best, but we were the most enthusiastic. Two hours, a shower, change of clothes, bus ride, and long walk later, I was at my sisters wedding with a white shirt and tie, and red face paint still refusing to remove itself entirely from my hands. Another time, my floor and another from our building went into town for supper. There I build a straw so long that it reached across the table, and eventually, to the other table. It was taller than me and hitting the ceiling fan before long. I also piled up all the heavy spice containers on self-supporting knives held up on glasses. But those are only a few of my days, and nights. We've had nights of stealing chairs from other floors for our decked out floor lounge, nights where local street signs and advertisements end up mysteriously in that same floor lounge. There are nights I've spent studying, nights I've spent watching movies, nights I've spent at parties, nights I've spent getting close to girls*, nights I've spent tutoring, nights I've spent waiting for sleep and night that have simply been another night.
Right now, I'm in the middle of studying for chemistry, for which I have a midterm this week. Myself and a few friends find this class the most difficult due. Partly because the teacher, while entertaining and far from monotone, puts the class to sleep faster than a mother's lullaby (or a bottle of chloroform), and partly because there's no incentive for doing work or question for his course, the only points come from the labs and the exams. It may therefore seem stupid to put off studying, but when you have several other classes asking for pages of concepts and calculations on a weekly basis, what doesn't ask for attention doesn't get it. I've always had a grudge against chemistry because, while central and highly useful for science, it is not as directly mathematical or logical as physics, and while I often grasp concepts easily, there are so many different ideas, concepts, and exceptions that it is hard to keep track of them all. This is made especially true from the fact that these concepts and exceptions are difficult to derive from others. I think a few of us are getting our white flags ready for this exam.
I am getting better at studying, unfortunately I'm also getting exponentially worse at time management (actually, this isn't entirely true, but once you loose you're grasp of time, you have no way of determining how quickly you're getting worse at it, time being the independent variable). I keep getting caught up in conversations with floormates, engineers, and fellow students. We talk endlessly of technology, space elevators, archologies, genetic engineering, technological enhancement (cyberization), artificial intelligence, video games, strategy, mathematics, girls (which should be a bit higher on the list, but not by much), cetera, et cetera. I've almost given up entirely on video games, playing about a match a week on Starcraft II, and usually just against a computer opponent. I also listen to audiobooks almost non-stop. Mostly science fiction. It fills any silence I can find and helps me get to sleep when my room mate sleep less quietly. I'm not even sure where some of my time goes. I caught myself saying yesterday that we had been in university for a few weeks, when it's been well over a month, almost two. I feel like Tartarus, only his water is my time.
I've also started taking more control of my diet, though I'm not sure whether it's for better or worse. I bought a rice cooker, having lived in Japan and learned to love eating plain white rice. The cooker cost ten dollars, and rice is two to four dollars a kilo (for comparison's sake, potato chips at the corner store cost about fifteen dollars a kilo). I'm eating apples, oranges, bananas, drinking more water than I ever did soft drinks or any drink, I just started drinking apple juice, and the daily snack. I'm not sure if I've lost any weight (though there were a few days when I could go one notch more on my belt), but I doubt I've gain much if any (despite "freshman fifteen"). I'm a bit worried about my diet, but I'm not dead yet. Also, for all of you at Boston Pizza, I wish I could walk in the front doors and sit down with friends. I would talk with those still on shift, doing roll-ups while I waited for my self-made pizza to get though the oven, and stay until enough friends are off shift to get hammered. Sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name, and their always glad you came.
Speaking of which, I have yet to decide my plans for Christmas. I know that many people expect I'll be home-... ...back in Sydney for the holidays, but I have yet to make up my own mind. I'm keeping that in mind as I look to see what's going on with who in Vancouver. Rez closes, which cuts off staying here, but I'm still looking into other options. I'm also factoring in price for if I were to come back. It'd take a hundred and forty hours of work to pay off the airplane tickets. I know it might not be mine to pay, but that's not how I'm looking at it. I'll tell more when I figure it out for myself.
Weather here isn't so bad. We have lots of overcast, common rain, but enough blue in the sky with some sun to offset it all. The rain has yet to be torrential and I'll be ready when it is. Vancouver is a nice city when I can spare the (non-existent) time to ride in. UBC itself is nice, and large, but I feel that there's still a difference from this and real life. There're places to eat, places to go, bars, nightlife, traffic, people, business, work, scenery, and a large enough population to be it's own large town, but life here seems like one step the the left of normal. It might just be the overload of academia.
Other than that I'm fine. I'm living, eating, breathing, thinking, reading, processing, learning, working, writing, calculating, analyzing, listening, saying, speaking, conversing, interacting, socializing, partying, drinking, dancing, playing, acting, dreaming, sleeping, and hoping. I'm still alive.
* I'll add that they were spent getting closer to girls in a manner similar to that of mathematical limits; always approaching, never reaching.
Last night, my second and third targets were headed into town for a party. I heard them making plans, making a truce and knew about the party. I tried to tail them, but lost sight of them when they left rez. I ran to the bus stop to cut them off, failed to find them, and headed back to rez. On my way back I contemplated quitting the game by letting my "assassin" (known to me, not a common thing) get me. I decided it would hinge on that night and made plans to wait for them to come back. When I got back, I realized that it would be easier and faster to simply go to the party and get them there, an "asshole"ish move, but I have no trouble with unconventional tactics. I dressed for the bar and for my purpose, not to be noticed (easy with my largely neutral wardrobe of grays, blues, blacks, and browns). I removed the safety item (this week's being a bright red t-shirt) knowing that my assassin was gone for the day and not at the party. Then finding the bar was easy.
I got there using Google maps and my bus pass. It was a bar, half the size of the Capri and twice as nice. By that time (one of the clock) they didn't bother me with cover, I walked right in after showing someone my identification. I walked in, slowly around the quieter parts, avoiding the dance floor where I'd stand out and the lights where I might be recognized, and spotted my target. I got him, his face total shock twisted to look like amusement, then the girl behind me took notice and scrambled. I got her right there, but she didn't notice and went for her bag where they kept a safety item. I walked over slowly, noticing her trouble with the zipper, and tapped her again. She was furious (hell hath no fury like a woman scorn), and also shocked, but more so in hate. I stayed for a few minutes before I realized that I was too sober for this at this time in the morning and could put my time to better use back at rez and asleep.
There've been all sorts of things happening, like colour wars, where all the houses in Totem (my place of residence) wore colours of with houses and competed to prove their worth. We might not have been the best, but we were the most enthusiastic. Two hours, a shower, change of clothes, bus ride, and long walk later, I was at my sisters wedding with a white shirt and tie, and red face paint still refusing to remove itself entirely from my hands. Another time, my floor and another from our building went into town for supper. There I build a straw so long that it reached across the table, and eventually, to the other table. It was taller than me and hitting the ceiling fan before long. I also piled up all the heavy spice containers on self-supporting knives held up on glasses. But those are only a few of my days, and nights. We've had nights of stealing chairs from other floors for our decked out floor lounge, nights where local street signs and advertisements end up mysteriously in that same floor lounge. There are nights I've spent studying, nights I've spent watching movies, nights I've spent at parties, nights I've spent getting close to girls*, nights I've spent tutoring, nights I've spent waiting for sleep and night that have simply been another night.
Right now, I'm in the middle of studying for chemistry, for which I have a midterm this week. Myself and a few friends find this class the most difficult due. Partly because the teacher, while entertaining and far from monotone, puts the class to sleep faster than a mother's lullaby (or a bottle of chloroform), and partly because there's no incentive for doing work or question for his course, the only points come from the labs and the exams. It may therefore seem stupid to put off studying, but when you have several other classes asking for pages of concepts and calculations on a weekly basis, what doesn't ask for attention doesn't get it. I've always had a grudge against chemistry because, while central and highly useful for science, it is not as directly mathematical or logical as physics, and while I often grasp concepts easily, there are so many different ideas, concepts, and exceptions that it is hard to keep track of them all. This is made especially true from the fact that these concepts and exceptions are difficult to derive from others. I think a few of us are getting our white flags ready for this exam.
I am getting better at studying, unfortunately I'm also getting exponentially worse at time management (actually, this isn't entirely true, but once you loose you're grasp of time, you have no way of determining how quickly you're getting worse at it, time being the independent variable). I keep getting caught up in conversations with floormates, engineers, and fellow students. We talk endlessly of technology, space elevators, archologies, genetic engineering, technological enhancement (cyberization), artificial intelligence, video games, strategy, mathematics, girls (which should be a bit higher on the list, but not by much), cetera, et cetera. I've almost given up entirely on video games, playing about a match a week on Starcraft II, and usually just against a computer opponent. I also listen to audiobooks almost non-stop. Mostly science fiction. It fills any silence I can find and helps me get to sleep when my room mate sleep less quietly. I'm not even sure where some of my time goes. I caught myself saying yesterday that we had been in university for a few weeks, when it's been well over a month, almost two. I feel like Tartarus, only his water is my time.
I've also started taking more control of my diet, though I'm not sure whether it's for better or worse. I bought a rice cooker, having lived in Japan and learned to love eating plain white rice. The cooker cost ten dollars, and rice is two to four dollars a kilo (for comparison's sake, potato chips at the corner store cost about fifteen dollars a kilo). I'm eating apples, oranges, bananas, drinking more water than I ever did soft drinks or any drink, I just started drinking apple juice, and the daily snack. I'm not sure if I've lost any weight (though there were a few days when I could go one notch more on my belt), but I doubt I've gain much if any (despite "freshman fifteen"). I'm a bit worried about my diet, but I'm not dead yet. Also, for all of you at Boston Pizza, I wish I could walk in the front doors and sit down with friends. I would talk with those still on shift, doing roll-ups while I waited for my self-made pizza to get though the oven, and stay until enough friends are off shift to get hammered. Sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name, and their always glad you came.
Speaking of which, I have yet to decide my plans for Christmas. I know that many people expect I'll be home-... ...back in Sydney for the holidays, but I have yet to make up my own mind. I'm keeping that in mind as I look to see what's going on with who in Vancouver. Rez closes, which cuts off staying here, but I'm still looking into other options. I'm also factoring in price for if I were to come back. It'd take a hundred and forty hours of work to pay off the airplane tickets. I know it might not be mine to pay, but that's not how I'm looking at it. I'll tell more when I figure it out for myself.
Weather here isn't so bad. We have lots of overcast, common rain, but enough blue in the sky with some sun to offset it all. The rain has yet to be torrential and I'll be ready when it is. Vancouver is a nice city when I can spare the (non-existent) time to ride in. UBC itself is nice, and large, but I feel that there's still a difference from this and real life. There're places to eat, places to go, bars, nightlife, traffic, people, business, work, scenery, and a large enough population to be it's own large town, but life here seems like one step the the left of normal. It might just be the overload of academia.
Other than that I'm fine. I'm living, eating, breathing, thinking, reading, processing, learning, working, writing, calculating, analyzing, listening, saying, speaking, conversing, interacting, socializing, partying, drinking, dancing, playing, acting, dreaming, sleeping, and hoping. I'm still alive.
* I'll add that they were spent getting closer to girls in a manner similar to that of mathematical limits; always approaching, never reaching.
University Pictures
How to make bus boy's job a heck of a lot harder.
The straw.
Colour wars.
Work hard, play hard.
How to dress a straight guy.
My desk from an odd angle. Oops.
Local cafeteria convenience store.
The endless stairs I climb endlessly up and down the floors of Shu.
Shuswap, in Totem, I live on floor five (Shu5).
Some over excited "ENGINEERS".Friday, October 8, 2010
Sitting around
Written yesterday:
"
Wonderland
I'm currently sitting in a garden, European style, something like the rose garden of Alice (and the roses really do look painted). That's because I'm trying to find somewhere to study. I've found that my roommate is usually doing something that, while not necessarily distracting, is annoying like listening to music or laughing at jokes posted on the internet. We get along well, but we each have our different styles, and our preferences in music are almost polar opposites. That's all fine though because I'm not usually in my room. I spend most of my time either in the floor lounge (which actually is distracting) or wandering around campus. Right now, I'm working on the latter.
I've found a nice garden,
with a perimeter of probably less than four-hundred meters (the size of a running track or soccer field). There are flowers of a small variety of red and white, a few yellow, some tall trees on either side, hedges on low concrete walls, grass that looks like it shaves daily and a few constructs of wood and concrete. The view of the mountains on a clear day is fairly, while not overly, beautiful. The whole place has that sort of modest beauty, as if someone wanted a nice place for a picnic that wouldn't attract unwanted attention. I like it.
As for the studying I'm not doing, I'm trying to get ahead in class. I have an online assignment for PHYS 170 due tomorrow. It's not hard, but my numbers have come out wrong twice. After that, I'm going to work on my PHYS 153 tutorial questions, which shouldn't be too hard (although it is a new subject) and reading through my MATH 100 book. I'm not worried about my math (though I am mildly put off by my weak performance on yesterday's midterm), it's just that all of our other classes expect us to know, understand, and be able to use stuff we have yet to cover in math (even when they say they don't). I also desperately need to read through and practice CHEM 154, however our teacher provides very little incentive with no real homework, assignments, quizzes, tests or such. The only subject I'm not studying, APSC 160, is a computer programming course, and still comes with ease (I think I aced the midterm).
Before I entered university, I would constantly hear people saying how very different it is from high school. I disagree; university is harder, but it's only the next level. I have more, and more difficult work, but it's only an increase of degree, not a revolution. And I still have all my old practices and habits, they're just a bit more refined. Granted, there's a lot more focus on academia, but that's what we get for pursuing academics. I should also add that for how much harder we work, we party, play (Starcraft 2), watch, gossip, drink dance, drink, sleep, and socialize.
The other thing about coming to university, is that it has cut a lot more ties and given me more independence. I don't mean freedom, although I have that too, I mean that now I'm paying for my expenses. I pay for laundry, food, tissues, clothes, my phone, et cetera. I just got my first phone bill and my credit card, conveniently together, inconveniently five days past due (luckily they gave me some credit). Now if only I can find out how to access my credit card billing information. To keep track of all this, I've created a financial record on my computer in excel that covers every transaction I make and records what accounts were involved, what type of transaction it was, what it was for, a brief description of it and has built in redundancies and a current net balance. It also has no actual connection to my accounts, only a description like "savings." I mention this purely because I had so much fun making it and am proud of the final product. Also because I'm still doing very well financially.
I'm a bit sleep deprived and my diet seems wrong (even though I'm trying to eat healthily), but overall these aren't major problems so much as constant states for most students (and I imagine, most people in general). With a little bit of luck I might be able to finally get ahead and to some sleep. Anyways, I have more to say, but I need to get to work.
"
Now:
I had also intended to talk about why I don't spend much time in my room. For the most part, I'm quite sure it's not my roommate. It stems from when I was in Japan and Sydney (Nova Scotia). In Japan, I was often left in my room to do nothing, expected to study and mind my own business, but I couldn't stand it. It was lonely, boring, and uneventful. So I sent hours every day simply walking around the city, even if I had nowhere to go. Just to be out. It taught me a lot more than sitting in my room, and while not as productive for studying, it taught me many other tricks, skills, and facts that became very important, such as locations of shops, shortcuts, where to go when you're in a certain mood, it got me buying Gundams which turned into one of my favourite (discontinued) hobbies, and would lead to interactions with others, whether in buying some melon bread or having a chat.
When I got back, I found that Sydney was small and uneventful. I still tried walking around, but it would always be to the same places, and even just getting to the city was an eight kilometer walk, one way. Also being a year behind my friends academically, now in university, I had very little to do. And so I spent most of my time sitting in my room, doing what could be considered in almost every respect as nothing. I was hardly even able to keep myself amused. It got to the point where I hated my room, especially the feeling of sitting at my desk in front of my computer, which I was continually using, despite my distaste in it. Needless to say, I was glad to leave it all behind.
When I got here, I bought a laptop. One that works and that I can take anywhere with me. And now I spend most of my time not sitting in my room, looking for something to happen and moving freely.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned my new computer. It's a Sony VAIO, 15.5". It has a nice keyboard with a number pad (which is uncommon on many brands of laptop, and important when you're doing a lot of math), webcam (Skype anyone?), and all the other common features you'd expect. It's ten years better than my last computer, and can run Starcraft 2. I've bought a mouse for it, a backup hard drive, lock, a sleeve, and a specialized backpack. In turn, my laptop holds all my books, musics, games (Starcraft, Starcraft 2, minesweeper), school work, financial records, et cetera. If it's stolen, it could be a security risk, but with an hour of internet access I could fix that, and I'm very careful with it. Also, if it's stolen, it's most likely it'll just be wiped and sold.
Other than that, I'll write later... when I'm not in my MATH 100 class.
"
Wonderland
I'm currently sitting in a garden, European style, something like the rose garden of Alice (and the roses really do look painted). That's because I'm trying to find somewhere to study. I've found that my roommate is usually doing something that, while not necessarily distracting, is annoying like listening to music or laughing at jokes posted on the internet. We get along well, but we each have our different styles, and our preferences in music are almost polar opposites. That's all fine though because I'm not usually in my room. I spend most of my time either in the floor lounge (which actually is distracting) or wandering around campus. Right now, I'm working on the latter.I've found a nice garden,
with a perimeter of probably less than four-hundred meters (the size of a running track or soccer field). There are flowers of a small variety of red and white, a few yellow, some tall trees on either side, hedges on low concrete walls, grass that looks like it shaves daily and a few constructs of wood and concrete. The view of the mountains on a clear day is fairly, while not overly, beautiful. The whole place has that sort of modest beauty, as if someone wanted a nice place for a picnic that wouldn't attract unwanted attention. I like it.As for the studying I'm not doing, I'm trying to get ahead in class. I have an online assignment for PHYS 170 due tomorrow. It's not hard, but my numbers have come out wrong twice. After that, I'm going to work on my PHYS 153 tutorial questions, which shouldn't be too hard (although it is a new subject) and reading through my MATH 100 book. I'm not worried about my math (though I am mildly put off by my weak performance on yesterday's midterm), it's just that all of our other classes expect us to know, understand, and be able to use stuff we have yet to cover in math (even when they say they don't). I also desperately need to read through and practice CHEM 154, however our teacher provides very little incentive with no real homework, assignments, quizzes, tests or such. The only subject I'm not studying, APSC 160, is a computer programming course, and still comes with ease (I think I aced the midterm).
Before I entered university, I would constantly hear people saying how very different it is from high school. I disagree; university is harder, but it's only the next level. I have more, and more difficult work, but it's only an increase of degree, not a revolution. And I still have all my old practices and habits, they're just a bit more refined. Granted, there's a lot more focus on academia, but that's what we get for pursuing academics. I should also add that for how much harder we work, we party, play (Starcraft 2), watch, gossip, drink dance, drink, sleep, and socialize.
The other thing about coming to university, is that it has cut a lot more ties and given me more independence. I don't mean freedom, although I have that too, I mean that now I'm paying for my expenses. I pay for laundry, food, tissues, clothes, my phone, et cetera. I just got my first phone bill and my credit card, conveniently together, inconveniently five days past due (luckily they gave me some credit). Now if only I can find out how to access my credit card billing information. To keep track of all this, I've created a financial record on my computer in excel that covers every transaction I make and records what accounts were involved, what type of transaction it was, what it was for, a brief description of it and has built in redundancies and a current net balance. It also has no actual connection to my accounts, only a description like "savings." I mention this purely because I had so much fun making it and am proud of the final product. Also because I'm still doing very well financially.
I'm a bit sleep deprived and my diet seems wrong (even though I'm trying to eat healthily), but overall these aren't major problems so much as constant states for most students (and I imagine, most people in general). With a little bit of luck I might be able to finally get ahead and to some sleep. Anyways, I have more to say, but I need to get to work.
"
Now:
I had also intended to talk about why I don't spend much time in my room. For the most part, I'm quite sure it's not my roommate. It stems from when I was in Japan and Sydney (Nova Scotia). In Japan, I was often left in my room to do nothing, expected to study and mind my own business, but I couldn't stand it. It was lonely, boring, and uneventful. So I sent hours every day simply walking around the city, even if I had nowhere to go. Just to be out. It taught me a lot more than sitting in my room, and while not as productive for studying, it taught me many other tricks, skills, and facts that became very important, such as locations of shops, shortcuts, where to go when you're in a certain mood, it got me buying Gundams which turned into one of my favourite (discontinued) hobbies, and would lead to interactions with others, whether in buying some melon bread or having a chat.
When I got back, I found that Sydney was small and uneventful. I still tried walking around, but it would always be to the same places, and even just getting to the city was an eight kilometer walk, one way. Also being a year behind my friends academically, now in university, I had very little to do. And so I spent most of my time sitting in my room, doing what could be considered in almost every respect as nothing. I was hardly even able to keep myself amused. It got to the point where I hated my room, especially the feeling of sitting at my desk in front of my computer, which I was continually using, despite my distaste in it. Needless to say, I was glad to leave it all behind.
When I got here, I bought a laptop. One that works and that I can take anywhere with me. And now I spend most of my time not sitting in my room, looking for something to happen and moving freely.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned my new computer. It's a Sony VAIO, 15.5". It has a nice keyboard with a number pad (which is uncommon on many brands of laptop, and important when you're doing a lot of math), webcam (Skype anyone?), and all the other common features you'd expect. It's ten years better than my last computer, and can run Starcraft 2. I've bought a mouse for it, a backup hard drive, lock, a sleeve, and a specialized backpack. In turn, my laptop holds all my books, musics, games (Starcraft, Starcraft 2, minesweeper), school work, financial records, et cetera. If it's stolen, it could be a security risk, but with an hour of internet access I could fix that, and I'm very careful with it. Also, if it's stolen, it's most likely it'll just be wiped and sold.
Other than that, I'll write later... when I'm not in my MATH 100 class.
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