Hell of a week

So, two weeks ago I was in the finals stretch of school before exams.
I was trying to get my notes straight for class, while doing three major projects, trying to make some friends and figuring out how I was going to balance last week's schedule.
I got the the projects done by staying up late two nights and pulling one all-nighter, I even presented a project I was too tired to finish while I was too tired to speak. I started talking with a group of people I'd like to be friends with. And then came exam week.

It started with supper at Boston Pizza, where my parents semi-celebrated my grandmother's and my birthdays later that week. It was more of a sit-down, eat and talk like adults thing, which might work better except that I know what my mom has to say because I hear her on the phone every day and I can't make out what anyone else is saying at the far side of the table. Luckily I found the afore mentioned friends who were out celebrating one of their birthdays. I stayed and talked to them as long as I could, and it was nice.

The Boston Pizza staff party was on Sunday, which went well. I chatted with friends and ate while the front of house (servers) on drunks had fun, I was dragged into dancing at the end, which wasn't bad, just awkward at first (I'm not against dancing, I'm just not good at it, or at least not drunk enough to be good at it).

I spent one whole day re-writing my geography notes in my most successful attempt at studying.

Then the day before exams I got distracted, and somehow the topic of my last few entries consumed me for a whole night. Luckily it wore me out and I got to be early.

The day of my geography exam, I went to school early. I spotted one of the friends I mentioned above studying for the same exam and by the time I got there she was joined by more. I sat down and talked about the different subjects, hoping I was making a positive impression but feeling like a bit of an outsider (as if I were 外人 again). Then CG* showed up, with another one of them, they passed me something shaped like a liquor bottle. With some directions from them and the instructions on the bottle, I managed to cover a small part of the cafeteria in confetti. Then the bell rang. I went to the exam, which seemed easy. I finished later than most, but that's because of my writing.

When I got home I found an acceptance letter from my backup university (DAL). I checked my messages, one letter from 肉 and a few posts on my Facebook wall. The former I've been awaiting for a while, the latter just filled my notifications. There were a few good posts, but most of them were from random people who were most likely just acting on a Facebook prompt. Throughout the day more Facebook posts came. There were also a few e-mails. Thanks to all who wrote sincerely. I'll also add that I prefer long letters and made-it-myself cards (even last minute cards) to texts, Facebook wall posts, e-cards and store bought cards. There's just a lot more sentiment in a couple of scribbles on a page than a copy-and-paste seizure inducing message.

The next two exams happened eventlessly. I would come to school early, study with my new friends**, go off to the exam, finish it, talk with people until the left and then walk home myself. I've actually gotten tired of the walking. which I will get into later.

On Friday, after finishing my math exam, I went in to Boston Pizza. I called up a few friends and started drinking. One of my friends was behind the bar working and I'm friendly with most of the staff, many of who have been waiting to see me drunk. Another friend showed up after my first drink and I spent the night getting "happy"... I mean drunk....(no similarity what-so-ever to the "happiness" I talked about in Japan). Anyways, so apparently I'm not that different drunk, just happy, vulgar (I apparently (unintentionally) offended a liquor inspector) and I use my hands more.

Thanks to a few tips from a friend I had no hangover the next day (drink lots of water and don't go to sleep until sober). This isn't good because it means that I have no bad experiences with alcohol, (aside from the liquor inspector thing) despite the fact that I know it's bad. It's hard to convince yourself not to do something that feels good with no noticeable downside.

Anyways, the next night was my friend's birthday party. She wanted to have it at Boston Pizza, but we don't make reservations form five to eight o'clock on Saturdays because we're busy. So I went in n hour early to secure enough tables. I met a guy in engineering and almost everyone had a drink, but no one got drunk. We went back to her place and played with some puppies (which she'll be giving back soon) before moving into awkward board games and ending it by tossing balloons around.

Anyways, that's all for this post.

*CG is the nickname of the sister of one of my friends. She's on of the friends I keep mentioning and she's the one I know the best.

**I'm not sure exactly how they feel about me , but I've added a few as friends on Facebook (granted, I've added people I loath as friends on Facebook).

Any comments?

Does anyone have any comments or questions?
...
Hello?
. . .
HELLO?! (echo) (echo) (echo)

Crush

Edit: This was originally written in seven parts due to the PSP 512 character limit.

(part 1)

Life is strange. It's exam week at school, I've got three later this
week. I'm studying, which is unnatural for me. My birthday is
Wednesday, I'll be out Friday for drinks. My friend's birthday party
is on Saturday and last night was Boston Pizza's staff party. Did I
mention I have a crush?

Starting with school. Recently I've come to realize that I like going
to school because it's a chance to be with friends. I have perfect
attendance so that I don't miss anything, scholastic or social.

(part two)

I have a few friends in grade ten who's youth makes me feel old and
awkward. And then there are the grade twelves who haven't quite taken
me in, but haven't rejected me either. I have a few ties to some, but
only as a friend of a friend or such. I haven't been invited to
anything, but I've seen them at Boston Pizza and chatted with them
there. I like being around them, it's like the old third grades from
Japan. Also, I have a crush on one of them. Writting her name here
would serve no purpose, but I'll say

(part three was lost, this is a rewrite, seriously it was better before) (PSP)

that she's beautiful and smart and I don't know her well but I'd like
to. Mostly, I want to be with somebody, but more than I fear
rejection, I would dread hurting her by breaking up with her to leave
for university (assuming I ask her out, she says yes and we like each
other)(and knowing long distance relationships don't work). How do you
even ask that?

(part four)

"Hi, I have a crush on you and I'd like to ask you out but I know I'll
be leaving in August for uni, but if you're okay with that and you
like me would you like to go out some time?"
Hmm, I wonder how many breaths it would take. Uhg, I feel awkward.
To be fair, I have confessed to someone, in front of a class, she
didn't answer, I've asked someone out, she said yes but we never
managed to fix a date, I've left without telling someone I liked them,
and I've realized too late that someone liked me. Anyways,

(part five)

it my presonal problem (but then again you are reading my personal blog).

Studying is going, maybe even going well. I've rewritten half of my
geography notes. I'll make cheatsheets for French and pre-cal and
watch some french movies.

I've packed away my computers and PS3 (hence the PSP). They're usuful
but distracting and I can get by like this.

Sorry, I need to sleep now but I'll try to continue this tomorrow.

(part six)

This is in part my way of trying to be more economic. I don't watch
television (and I don't miss it), I eat at home (healthier and cheaper
than junk food), I give and get rides with friends going to the same
place, cycle, walk and now I'm trying to cut down on electricity.

It's hard to cut back on my computers and Playstations because I've
already made such a large investment into them and they're useful.
Mostly though, I just need something else with which to occupy myself.

(past seven)

As for the rest, it's going well. I have several things one the go
including a letter to my friends and host families in Japan that just
needs to be sent, supplemental applications for university, studying
and cetera.

Now I'm going to make lunch and work on my geography.

郷愁

Kyousyu, it means homesickness or nostalgia. That's what I'm feeling. It has always been a weakness of mine that I reminice too much. Some adults have the heart of a child, I feel like I've got one of an old guy; I feel old and I keep looking to the past, but that's just life. I also feel old because I'm a year older than the grads at my school, because I had (what I consider) a full life of experiences in Japan, because I think it and because I think too much. Regardless, let's see where this takes me.

Today I got a lot done. This morning at about one, I sent in and paid for my application to Waterloo University. I sent off and paid for Dalhousie this afternoon and though UBC's is very time consuming, I hope to have it over with soon. I'll also be applying to the local university. I value this last one the least, not just because it's the least prestigious on my list (and transfers to another one after two years), but also because I want to get away, I need (as in a great want, I know that it's not absolutely necessary) to get away. Spread my wings and fly.

I'm aiming for mechatronics engineering. It deals with putting together mechanics, electronics, computers and control systems to make something that works. I figure it suits me. I've built with Lego, Technic and K'nex since I was a kid, and I've built a lot. I still do when I need something I don't have (like my sheetmusic holder). I like putting together models (specifically Japanese Gundam models). I've taken apart, fixed and re-built many electronics, inlcuding five computers which run as well as before I did so. I've fixed a bike that was crushed by a truck, I'm helping my dad build a house and I look for ways of using my skills and knowledge to make things work better, both machines and plans. I have a knack for math and physics, which I love (I've spent nights having fun with equations) and I spend a lot of time working out different ideas, simplifying and making more concise my notes (which are a few condensed pages instead of whole binders neener-neener to everyone else). I've even done research in spare time, for what was pretty much fun. I've gone to math camp and I'm reading a book called Physics for Entertainment. And yes, I do have a life outside of all that.

Now that you've forgotten the title and meaning of this post, I'll get to the reason I'm writting. I just finished typing up a letter to my friends and (host) family in Japan. I really want them to see it and I wish them well. I'm not sure how I'm going to get it over there. I might e-mail it to some, but there are others who it would mean so much to me for them to see it and I don't have their real or virtual addresses. I'll probably ask for some help. The letter talks about what I'm up to, about school, university, work, the house and what I miss about Japan; the long walks along the river, building Gundams (that part of the last paragraph was just added), looking for manga (as well as reading them, but just looking for them was such an adventure), karaoke (which is so much better in Japan) and chatting with friends. I end it by saying that I want to go back again and I want to see everyone again. I'm planning on sending it to all my host families and my math class if possible.

I also wrote an e-mail to Callan (the Aussie) and after several weeks of searching, I finally got a chance to chat with Brie. It was brief, but she says she'll have more free time now. Then I read the full blog of a Canadian exchange student in Kanazawa. There's a deadly dose of nostalgia. I'm still thinking about the ALTs I met, and thinking about going to Japan for a year out of university.

Next is school. It's almost relaxed. I'm making a newspaper with two guys in French, we named it (to my embarassement at first, but I like it now) PiPiKaKaPuPu (which translates to PeePoopDoodoo), it's meant to be read while on the toilet and would be made out of toilet paper. I still have to write up my article, luckily I've picked a subject and I'm fluent, I just can't write.

I'm also taking on a project in french geography with three people to teach a chapter of our textbook to the class. It's because we're in the advanced option. The others are doing powerpoints of "study Cases" while I'm left with the bulk of the true content of the chapter. Don't get me wrong, I chose it; I may have more responsibility, but I've got more matter to cover and pictures to help, and I'll be doing it in flash (which won't make that much of a difference, but my presentation will have better graphics.

In pre-cal, I'm trying to get myself to look work over, amke sure it's right and comply with my coughfascistcough teacher. She constantly says how disappointed she is and even complained about my title page to a homework assignment. My plans to "get back" at her are to do excellently on the exam, do better in calculus and make my next assignment page so elegant it will make her conservative face think twice before commenting on my title pages.

And in multimedia we're working on flash. It's not my favourite program but it's nothing new for me. I'm more focused on our website portfolios due at then end worth thrity percent of our mark. I've installed the programs we're using on my computer just to have more time out of class to work on it.

And with that, I think I'm done. I've been off the schedule at work for a few weeks and I haven't been out to the house too often. I've cut back on video games and I'm trying to get everything done.

Just something more to add

I've been hanging out with my old friends recently. One of them is right now taking care of a dog and her puppies (she hasn't formally adopted them, though she's thinking about it). A few others I rarely see and in general it ust nice to get out. Anyways, just as extra, here's some random footage. I'm not entirely sure why I'm putting this up, possibley just as a test.

So far away

One of the boring parts of no longer living in Japan is the big city that I miss. Kanazawa was an industrial city (I'm not sure how it would be classified now) with old winding roads, large skyscrapers all stacked in the middle, buildings and houses all huddled together, conevience stores everywhere, very little garbage and non-violent people which made it a great place in which to take walks.

I could walk around for hours, going into covenience stores every time I got tired or bored, seek out bookstores, places to play video games, look for new and interesting foods, find weird and perverted figures and see what strange culture there was on display. I had the city mapped in my mind. I knew the main roads, the best shopping spots, most of the book stores, how to get anywhere, some of the best hang out spots, restaurants and cetera.

Here, everything is spread out, the stores close early, there aren't that many shops, transit it terrible, and there aren't as many spots to just hang out or nice place to just relax. If anyone from here reads this and disagrees, please name your spot.

Sunshine lollipops and work

Today has been one of the few days this winter we've had snow. Anyone asking for proof of global warming should try our ski hill, then any of the newly opening ones in Florida. While the snow may seem bad, there is some good news; it's also sunny, and sunny days are some of the few when I'm able to make myself get things I've been putting off done. It has something to do with psychology, but the only part that I care about is that on sunny days, I feel good enough to make myself get things done.

So, first off was getting a letter written to my Japanese friends and families. My Japanese isn't good enough to write one for each, so I'm writing one and making slight variations on it. I'm also still trying to get certain addresses and I'm sending a late new year's cards with them (new year's day is the Christmas of Japan).

Next on the list is the blog.

So, what have I been up to recently? Well, I've been procrastinating a lot. I've updated my computer to Windows 7 (better and faster than XP), I've gotten some books I'm now reading, school is boring as ever, I have exams on the week of my birthday and staff party, and I'm STILL working on my applications.

So, computer first. I've updated it, I've re-installed most of the programs I use (still waiting on Adobe CS4), I'll be backing my files up soon, my computer still looks like Frankenstein's creation and due to how old my graphics card is, my screen is stretched by sixteen percent (which isn't too bad, but it's annoying).

My sister also gave me her laptop. She was told it was broken and would take about six-hundred dollars to fix. I took it apart and found that it was some small piece that runs the backlight that broke, which costs about fifty dollars to replace. It's mine anyways and she has a new one. (I could also not repair it and just always work with a light behind the screen, but it would have to be a very bright light, even a portable floodlight still left it a bit dark.)

Christmas went well. I got some gaming stuff from my brother, a few random things, calendars, money for books, a free pass to see Avatar (it was awesome), soap and not much else. This Christmas it was our parents who got most of the gifts, though granted, we got a free trip to Quebec to go skiing and drinking. And this year I got my grandmother a puzzle made from a panorama I took of Nagasaki. The family completed it together and I had some nice conversations while them while doing so.

Oh, and the more later I was talking about in the previous entry was that my sister's boyfriend was flown out to Quebec in secret, we brought him to the hotel we were staying at and he surprised my sister and proposed to her. She accepted.

I also got a lot done on my applications. I have tips on what to write for all the personality and problem solving questions, and all that's left is for me to actually write that up and figure out a few technical things.

The books I bought with the money were Orson Scott Card's Ender in Exile and something from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. The former is a well thought out science fiction book about the human race moving out to the stars. I love the series and I only have a few problems with it, first, that so many characters are absolute geniuses, their abilities and understanding are sometimes a bit far out, and second, the constant talk of reproduction (I don't have a problem with sex or families, hell, I really like The Time Traveller's wife and that's full of it, but Orson Scott Card writes specifically about "producing babies," and every character has the same opinion and treats the subject the same way). As for the latter, it's a fun and clever read about a comical fantasy world.

Recently I've given up on the piano, not for lack of skill but for lack of time. I like hearing it, I love playing it, but I just don't have the time to dedicate to it. That, and I'm cutting down on video gaming. I like playing hardcore games and I keep up with the industry, but I play less than any casual gamer.

Friends are strange things. People say other people are their friends, classmates, coworkers, friends of friends, some friends "tolerate" others, some hate others, some secretly love others and some don't even know if they're friends. Coming back to Nova Scotia, I've had a hard time finding out who is what, especially in school. There are some people who I might call friends, but whom with age is an issue (I'm three years older than them). There are people I see in class everyday and talk to, but might not call a friend outside of school (classmates). Coworkers are easy enough to define. There are the friends I had who are still here, and some who only visit occasionally, I call them all friends, but I think of what it will be like when I am far away. Then there are people I know and am getting to know at school who are on the edge, but I don't quite know. And then there's the fact that this is the last year here, and while it is essential to have friends in high school, I'll have to break all (or at least most of) these bonds when I leave and can't afford to have any too strong to break.

On an entirely different note, while I'm not working at the restaurant much these days, my father is planning to use me out at the house he's building (I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, tell me if I haven't because it's kind of a big thing right now).