Crush

Edit: This was originally written in seven parts due to the PSP 512 character limit.

(part 1)

Life is strange. It's exam week at school, I've got three later this
week. I'm studying, which is unnatural for me. My birthday is
Wednesday, I'll be out Friday for drinks. My friend's birthday party
is on Saturday and last night was Boston Pizza's staff party. Did I
mention I have a crush?

Starting with school. Recently I've come to realize that I like going
to school because it's a chance to be with friends. I have perfect
attendance so that I don't miss anything, scholastic or social.

(part two)

I have a few friends in grade ten who's youth makes me feel old and
awkward. And then there are the grade twelves who haven't quite taken
me in, but haven't rejected me either. I have a few ties to some, but
only as a friend of a friend or such. I haven't been invited to
anything, but I've seen them at Boston Pizza and chatted with them
there. I like being around them, it's like the old third grades from
Japan. Also, I have a crush on one of them. Writting her name here
would serve no purpose, but I'll say

(part three was lost, this is a rewrite, seriously it was better before) (PSP)

that she's beautiful and smart and I don't know her well but I'd like
to. Mostly, I want to be with somebody, but more than I fear
rejection, I would dread hurting her by breaking up with her to leave
for university (assuming I ask her out, she says yes and we like each
other)(and knowing long distance relationships don't work). How do you
even ask that?

(part four)

"Hi, I have a crush on you and I'd like to ask you out but I know I'll
be leaving in August for uni, but if you're okay with that and you
like me would you like to go out some time?"
Hmm, I wonder how many breaths it would take. Uhg, I feel awkward.
To be fair, I have confessed to someone, in front of a class, she
didn't answer, I've asked someone out, she said yes but we never
managed to fix a date, I've left without telling someone I liked them,
and I've realized too late that someone liked me. Anyways,

(part five)

it my presonal problem (but then again you are reading my personal blog).

Studying is going, maybe even going well. I've rewritten half of my
geography notes. I'll make cheatsheets for French and pre-cal and
watch some french movies.

I've packed away my computers and PS3 (hence the PSP). They're usuful
but distracting and I can get by like this.

Sorry, I need to sleep now but I'll try to continue this tomorrow.

(part six)

This is in part my way of trying to be more economic. I don't watch
television (and I don't miss it), I eat at home (healthier and cheaper
than junk food), I give and get rides with friends going to the same
place, cycle, walk and now I'm trying to cut down on electricity.

It's hard to cut back on my computers and Playstations because I've
already made such a large investment into them and they're useful.
Mostly though, I just need something else with which to occupy myself.

(past seven)

As for the rest, it's going well. I have several things one the go
including a letter to my friends and host families in Japan that just
needs to be sent, supplemental applications for university, studying
and cetera.

Now I'm going to make lunch and work on my geography.