Lone wolf

First off, lone wolf is an irony, or at least, it should be. Wolves are pack animals and are rarely found a "lone." A lone wolf is not as common a theme in wolves as popular culture makes it seem.

Next, it's not a term I would use to describe myself, nor a regular wolf; I don't like packs, maybe a dog; a familiar. I'm not a party animal (sorry for all the animalia references), but I don't like being alone. The silence would be good, except that when I'm alone I'm not usually silent, my mind can be deafening. I prefer being one-on-one with people, even in running, I often run beside someone, even though it doesn't suit my strengths. The reason I'm so used to walking is that walking home with people used to be the best way to have face-to-face chats with them, but now that everyone has cars, the drive home takes minutes at most, drivers are sometimes distracted by driving and music blares.

In Japan, I went on walks often. I thought it better to get out and learn about the city than sit at home, where I was often expected to study (what?) silently. So I learned the lay of the land, I explored shops, took pictures of the scenery and occasionally ran into people (not literally). I'm starting to get the same feeling here. My room is full of things, video games, movies, but most of it is just pointless distraction. I want to get out.

School is similar in the way that it's beginning to remind me of Japan. The pre-formed cliques that are so hard to break into, I've noticed that the grades still have the same feel; the grade tens are energetic, the grade twelves are more relaxed and the grade elevens are an in between. The grade tens are more willing to take me in, but the grade twelves interest me more. I feel like an outsider again and I don't want to be.

If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound? It depends on your definition of sound. If you define sound scientifically as vibration, then yes. If you define sound as something heard, then no. If no one checks on Schrodinger's cat, is it still alive? I'd rather have people around to find out, and hope it is. But enough philosophy and physics.

This week has not been a very happy week so far. On Valentine's day, I was playing solitare (which would make for a good pun; a card playing solitaire on a valentine's day because I am a Card and I was playing cards, I was alone, playing solitaire, and I was listening to Linkin Park's On a Valentine's day on Valentine's day). Then, today, it snowed and school was cancelled. I would have prefered to go, to have had something to do and people to see, but instead I'm sitting at home, having finished all my homework for the week, my residence application and a platinum in Uncharted 2, and now I'm looking into scholarships and doing next week's homework. My grades might not be suffering but I am. And I'll end it there, this is getting to depressing. There might be good news on the horizon, but for now, this is all I have.