Being here has really made me appreciate time. I've waited for seconds to pass by, wished I had something to say in that minute, mourned every fruitless hour and hoped for something to do for the day. That's not to say that I'm not trying, but with my social skills not up to par and not enough communication with others, it's hard.
It doesn't help that my host family of five months (and one more to go) show little more than dissapointement. It's hard to remember them having ever been happy for me, but easy to remember their critizism. I know they mean well, but the stress only turn awkward to difficult.
At school the teachers are overestimating me, I'm going to have to loose a few battles to win the war. An example is a twelve page report on what I want to do on the school trip to Kyushu. Also, with the initial hype gone, finding friends is harder... actually that's a lie, finding them had always been difficult, just now it's me doing most of the effort. It's lonely now, but it will lead, hopefully, to better and stronger friendships. (I wonder if I could get a gir-, oh, right, Rotary.)
I'm feeling a little homesick, but that's my lonliness speaking. I have no wishes of turning back, only of return successfully. I thank you all for all for your support. I'll keep going. I'm not dead yet.
Friday, January 9, 2009
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Yes, Geoffrey, keep going! Good times, bad times... soon again to be good times.
ReplyDeletehey geoff!
ReplyDeletei know it totally sucks about your host family and what not,
but things will get better for sure, especially since you are switching soon.
And about the friends thing...im having that problem too! I wrote letters and baked cookies for my whole class and it didnt even make a difference!!
AND im feeling lonely also..but for obvious reasons lol. but before that too, there were times when i was lonely because of the school thing etc.
I guess this is part of the exchange..dealing with this and overcoming it.
We can do it!
Brie.
This must be what it's like to watch you on the track at the halfway point, when it really starts hurting - and we already know that you'll finish - and all we can do is yell GO GEOFF. You're my culture hero.
ReplyDeleteWow, hard votes of confidence to follow! We're all rooting for you Geoff - you know that it's only temporary and you'll look back and say that it sucked at the time, but it becomes the past soon enough. It might help for you to know that despite the hardships you're going through, I'm still unbelievably jealous of you :)
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Laura
Finally! i've figured out how to post a comment. (by moving onto a computer that actually supports such technology.)
ReplyDeleteokay, let me just say that i remember such times. well, it was a bit easier in some ways, harder in others, but i hit the lows too. and felt the isolation. and some frustration (okay- LOTS of frustration.) but i am certain that i am a better person for it. and the move will help- change is good. and just keeping occupied however you can- do it. i read Atlas Shrugged (a brick of a book) in less than a month.
but you get through it, and that's the achievement in and of itself.
thinking of you, mandy
ps: ryan sends his regards.